


My Real Bucket List

by cloudyunicorn698



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Bridge to Tomorrow redux, Bucket List, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Mostly Fluff, Rizzles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:22:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudyunicorn698/pseuds/cloudyunicorn698
Summary: A (hopefully) new twist on the bucket list episode (S5E13 Bridge to Tomorrow). After a fun night making ravioli with Maura, Jane decides to crash at Maura’s house. While looking for something, Jane finds the notepad on which Maura wrote her bucket list. She realizes that there is another page, which Maura titled “My Real Bucket List.” Rather than confronting Maura, Jane decides to make this list come true. Rizzles. Note rating change.
Relationships: Maura Isles & Jane Rizzoli, Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli
Comments: 111
Kudos: 129





	1. Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> I had a hard time placing the episode Bridge to Tomorrow in time but ended up going with September since that is when the first half of the episode Burden of Proof aired (and seemed more likely than February since Jane jumped in the water).
> 
> Some of the first chapter uses dialogue from the show (with some changes because I hate some of Jane’s responses). After that, the story will diverge from canon. The first two chapters have some angst, but then it’s basically all fluff.
> 
> Also, I don’t own Rizzoli and Isles, any of the characters, or any of the plots referenced from previous episodes. I am not profiting in any way from these stories (except hopefully enjoyment).
> 
> This story is for @Lil_leels. 😊 You all can blame her for convincing me to start another story before I finished my others. I promise to finish everything I’ve started though.

Maura felt numb as she stood with Vince and Frankie on the bridge. She tried to convince herself that she was numb from the cold, but she knew that was a lie. The sun had finally risen on what had easily been the longest night of her life.

Just a few (very long) hours ago, Maura felt her heart shatter into a million pieces as she watched her best friend jump off the side of the bridge. She had screamed Jane’s name over the side of the bridge as she watched her disappear into the water raging below. Everything had happened so fast, and she was still having a hard time processing it.

“I should’ve stopped her,” Maura said softly as she fought against the tears threatening to fall. “I can’t believe I let her jump.”

Vince turned to take in the woman standing next to him on the bridge. “You didn’t let her,” Vince said.

Maura just shook her head. She knew if she opened her mouth, she was likely to lose the little bit of composure she still had. She listened as Vince and Frankie discussed the changes of Jane’s survivor. She added what she could using her knowledge of weather patterns and river currents, but otherwise, she tried to stay focused on the fact that Jane still had a _chance_. Vince and Frankie both offered her reassurances and platitudes, reiterating that this wasn’t her fault, but none of their words made any difference. Her fear and guilt were eating her alive.

Suddenly, Vince got a call that a boat had picked up two people on one of the small islands in the river. Maura didn’t dare to hope that one of them was Jane or that even if one of them was Jane that she would be relatively unhurt. No one spends all night in the river and comes out unscathed. Regardless, she quickly followed Vince and Frankie to the docks, her eyes constantly scanning every boat within sight.

When Maura’s eyes locked on Jane’s form, exiting one of the small fishing boats, the wave of emotion that ran through her nearly overwhelmed her. She had to hold herself together; she had to stay professional.

Maura stood on the gangplank that led to the docks with Frankie and Vince as Jane and Paul exited the boat. Jane looked straight at Maura, her eyes never leaving Maura’s face, and her face a mask of contrition.

“I’ve never been so happy to see you,” Jane said as Maura approached her on the dock.

Maura gave her a cursory hug before quickly pulling away. “I’ll see you back at the office,” she said coldly to Jane. Maura turned and walked up the gangplank, addressing Frankie on her way up, “Take good care of her.”

Maura nearly ran to her car, still parked near the bridge. She knew that her response had hurt Jane, but had she stood in front of her friend any longer, she would have broken down. She couldn’t let her colleagues see her like that; she couldn’t let Jane see her like that.

As Maura pulled away from the docks, the tears that had been threatening to fall all night suddenly started streaming down her face. Maura only made it a few blocks away before she had to pull over. Her tears were so thick that she could no longer see where she was going, and her body was shaking. Putting her car in park, she buried her face in her hands and let the sobs rock her body. Sitting alone in her car on the side of the road, she let every emotion she had been holding in for hours – no for years – leave her body.

By the time the tears finally slowed down, she was gasping for breath. Her body hurt from the crying and from standing on a bridge (in heels) all night. She decided she needed to go home first to take a shower and refresh before heading to the office. She turned her car and made her way home.

* * *

“So, I think Maura was scared she was gonna lose her best friend and probably embarrassed to be feeling that way in front of everyone,” Angela explained to a distraught Jane.

“I’m just doing my job, mom,” Jane whined. She had just told her mom about how cold Maura had been when she greeted her at the docks this morning. Jane hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Maura’s reaction, even as she gave her statement, as she made her way home to shower and change, nor as she tried to get back to work.

“True,” Angela said. “But you always say, ‘A smart cop weighs the risks for the greater good.’”

“Well, you don’t forget anything, do you?” Jane complained.

“Look, I’m just saying. It’s hard sometimes on the rest of us.”

“Okay. Then why aren’t you upset?”

“Well, I’m not happy that you jumped off a bridge,” Angela said.

Jane rolled her eyes, but even as she continued her conversation with her mother, her mind drifted back to Maura. Her mom was right; her actions had probably hurt Maura. She’d have to come up with a way to make it up to her.

Jane quickly wrapped up her conversation with her mother. She decided that she would at least start trying to make it up to Maura by getting her one of her favorite things. Jane hoped that the gesture would show Maura how much Jane cared about her.

Later that afternoon, Jane found Maura sitting at her desk in her office. She’d been able to run out and pick up a small bottle of Maura’s favorite perfume.

“How are you feeling?” Maura asked as she walked towards Jane, sitting on her couch while her friend sat down across from her.

“Okay,” Jane replied. “Tired. Bruised.” Jane paused before handing Maura a bag. “It was the only thing I could afford without taking out a second mortgage, so…”

“It’s my favorite,” Maura said softly.

“I know jumping in after Paul was dangerous,” Jane said.

“Did you think about any of us before you jumped?”

“Before I jumped?” Jane asked. “No, I didn’t. I didn’t think about you and I didn’t think about my family. I didn’t even think about myself. The only person that I thought about was Paul and that I was the only one that could help him. I wasn’t gonna let him drown, Maura.”

“I guess that’s the instinct that makes you such a good cop,” Maura said.

“And maybe a bit hard to love,” Jane added. “As soon as my feet left the bridge though, you, Ma, Frankie, Tommy, and TJ were all I could think about.”

“I was just afraid I lost you,” Maura admitted softly. Maura took a deep breath before letting out a sigh. “And I just kept thinking that I didn’t do enough to help you. I…why didn’t I go and help you talk Paul down, or why didn’t I stop you from going over the railing? Why wasn’t I closer to grab you?”

Jane gave Maura a sympathetic smile. “That’s survivor’s guilt,” she said.

“Excuse me?” Maura asked, confused by the unexpected turn in the conversation.

“BPD did a seminar on it,” Jane said.

“You went?” Maura questioned.

“I read the pamphlet,” Jane admitted.

Maura laughed a little before falling back to her thoughts. “Survivor’s guilt. That makes perfect sense,” she said. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything,” Jane teased. “Maura, there was nothing you could have done on that bridge, okay? That’s on me.”

“Weren’t you scared?”

“Not until I was falling. Then, yeah, then I was petrified,” Jane confessed. “And my life flashed before my eyes and…the weirdest thing was all I could think about was all the stuff I still want to do.”

“Like what?” Maura asked.

Jane paused. The truth was she had thought about everything she still wanted to do _with Maura._ It wasn’t news to Jane that Maura was the most important person in her life. It wasn’t even news to her that she loved Maura, that she was _in love_ with Maura. She’d figured that out years ago. However, she had never planned on saying anything to Maura. She wasn’t sure if Maura felt the same. Sometimes, she thought it was possible that Maura felt the same way about her, but at other times, she wasn’t so sure. She wasn’t willing to risk Maura’s friendship by admitting her feelings, but something had changed as she fell last night. She still didn’t want to risk Maura’s friendship, but she realized as she pictured everything she wanted in the future with Maura that she risked losing more by _not_ telling her how she felt. Now wasn’t the time for that conversation though. Neither one of them had slept and they were both over emotional right now. Plus, Maura was still dating Jack. Jane had decided while she swam that if she made it out, she would come up with a plan to talk to Maura. However, in the meantime, she still had to answer Maura’s question. “I don’t know. Um, watch the Sox win another series or…go to beer-brewing class or learn how to make ravioli,” Jane said. This wasn’t a lie; she’d thought about those things too. She just left out that she wanted to do them _with Maura._

Maura laughed, finally a real laugh. “Really?” she asked. “You’re plunging to your death and you had ravioli and beer on your mind?”

“I’m a girl with simple tastes,” Jane said with a smile.

“I think we need to work on your bucket list,” Maura said.

“That sounds crazy fun!” Jane said sarcastically. “But right now, we have a case to crack. So…what’s our next step?”

Jane didn’t think much about Maura’s comment about bucket lists as they fell back into their work personas. It wasn’t until later when Maura had once again called her to her office to talk about the case, that Jane was reminded of the conversation.

“Oh. I was thinking,” Maura said as Jane joined her in her office. “We should make our own bucket lists and share them with each other.”

“Couldn’t I just take you out for gluten-free pizza?” Jane asked

“Well, I think you owe me this,” Maura stated, matter-of-factly. “I mean, I spent the entire night on the bridge sure I was never going to see you again.”

Jane groaned in response. She knew Maura was right. Buying her the perfume had been a way to break the ice, but she had never thought she could buy Maura’s forgiveness, nor had she wanted to. She of all people knew that there were a lot more important things than expensive perfumes and extravagant gifts. “Okay, I’ll make a bucket list,” she conceded.

“Yes!” Maura exclaimed, bouncing on her toes, and clapping her hands together in excitement.

Once again, they easily turned back to their work. Jane smiled internally at how well they could move between their friend roles and their professional roles. This was just one of the many things she loved about her relationship with Maura. This was part of why they worked. They could care for each other, but they were both dedicated to their jobs as well. Very few people understood this side of Jane like Maura did.

* * *

“What a tragedy,” Maura said when Jane explained how the case ended.

“It just reminds us that there are consequences to our actions,” Jane said.

“Yeah, but I’m not sure I’ll ever understand how two people start out in love and then end up doing such terrible things to each other,” Maura said.

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Jane replied. “Okay! I came over here for more than just food.”

“Really?” Maura teased, her mind returning to their conversation earlier in the day in her office.

_Susie walked into Maura’s office with a box. “This was just delivered for you at the front desk,” she said._

_“Oh, thank you, Susie,” Maura replied._

_"Enjoy,” Susie replied before she exited the office._

_"What’s in the box?” Jane asked._

_"_ _A gift…for you,” Maura stated._

_"_ _Why did you get me a gift?” Jane asked._

_“Because I realize that we need to live every day to its fullest, so I got you something from our bucket list.”_

_“How could we have the same thing on our bucket list?” Jane asked. “You said mine was stupid.”_

_“I don’t believe I ever used the word ‘stupid,’” Maura said._

_“Well, you said I need a new bucket list.”_

_“I merely suggested that revisiting the list would reveal some more exciting choices,” Maura said._

_Jane rolled her eyes but curiosity about what was in the box brought her back to the conversation. “Well, let’s open it.”_

_“Oh,” Maura said, seemingly confused by Jane’s request._

_“Okay?” Jane said, equally confused by Maura’s response._

_Catching up, Maura replied, “Later.”_

_“Why later?”_

_“You’ll see,” Maura said with a smile. A knock at the door ended their conversation as Angela entered Maura’s office._

“Maura!” Jane whined, pulling Maura back to the present. “Please, can we open my gift now?”

“It’s right in front of you,” Maura said, gesturing to the appliance on the counter in front of Jane.

“Oh, it’s a…shiny kitchen thingy,” Jane said, confusion and skepticism lacing her words.

“It’s a pasta maker!” Maura replied happily.

“Really?” Jane said, suddenly excited. Maura was pleased with herself. The expression currently gracing Jane’s face was exactly why Maura had purchased the pasta maker. She loved seeing Jane excited and happy about something, and not that long ago, she had thought she would never see this again.

“Yes, you said you wanted to lean hoe to make homemade ravioli,” Maura explained.

“Thank you,” Jane said warmly. Maura’s heart warmed at Jane’s genuine gratitude.

“I’ll roll out the dough, and then you can put it through the machine,” Maura said, pointing to the dough in front of her.

“All right,” Jane replied.

“And for our stuffing, I got us lobster, duck, chanterelle mushrooms, and your favorite, sausage and ricotta cheese,” Maura said.

“Yummmm,” Jane replied.

Maura knew Jane was hungry – she was as well – but she couldn’t wait any longer to see Jane’s bucket list. She wasn’t quite sure why the bucket list idea had taken hold; it had started as an off-hand comment in response to Jane’s desire to learn how to make ravioli or attend a beer-brewing class. However, the more she thought about it, the more excited she got. Maybe it was the idea that she still had a future with Jane, that Jane was still alive and here with her, or maybe it was just something fun to think about after an especially difficult case.

So, before they got to cooking, Maura asked, “So, did you bring your bucket list?”

“Yes,” Jane replied as she pulled the crumpled paper from her pocket. “But I know you’re gonna make fun of it.”

“Oh, no, I’m not,” Maura assured her. “I may have some constructive criticism, but…” she trailed off at the look on Jane’s face. Taking Jane’s list from her hands, Maura handed her hers. “There you go. There’s mine.”

“Wow. And you typed it,” Jane said as she unfolded Maura’s list.

“Hmm,” Maura responded in kind. “Well, these are rather interesting.”

“The first thing on your list is to do something from my list,” Jane said, looking up from Maura’s list.

“Yes, that’s why we’re making homemade ravioli,” Maura said.

“I think it will be fun to do stuff from each other’s list,” Jane said.

“Really?” Maura asked in surprise, getting excited about Jane’s enthusiasm.

“No!” Jane responded. “I’m not going to Paris Fashion Week.” Maura’s face fell in disappointment – not that Jane didn’t want to go to Paris Fashion Week (she never thought she would) – but that Jane had been sarcastic about wanting to do stuff from each other’s lists. Pushing her disappointment aside, Maura returned her attention to Jane’s list.

“I can’t believe that you want to Navy Seal training,” Maura said, scrunching her nose in displeasure.

“Oh, ok” Jane said excitedly. “So, there’s this place in San Diego, and they put civilians through hell week.”

“Hell is something I’m trying to avoid,” Maura replied.

“Running of the bulls in Pamplona?” Jane suggested.

“An adventure in Spain, yes,” Maura said as she rolled. “But being chased by angry bulls, no.”

“Pbht!” Jane snorted.

“The museum of antiquities in Leiden?” Maura suggested.

“I am not spending my vacation in some dust-filled old museu... Oh! Zip-lining in Costa Rica!” Jane suggested excitedly.

“Mhm” Maura sighed. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. It just seemed to be highlighting the fact that they had nothing in comment. Then she had an idea. Her face lighting up, she suddenly said, “I have an idea. This is something that neither one of us have done and could be appealing to both of us.”

Jane gave Maura a skeptical look, but Maura wasn’t deterred. “An archeological dig in Egypt. I am fascinated with ancient culture and you love adventures.”

“Do I get to wear the Indiana Jones' hat?” Jane asked.

“We both do,” Maura responded.

“I'm in,” Jane said.

“Yeah!” Maura said excitedly, pumping her fists in the air.

“Gimme some dough,” Jane demanded, returning her attention to the contraption in front of her, the handle falling off as soon as she touched it. “Alright, I accidentally broke it,” she told Maura.

“How did you already break it?” Maura asked, looking over at Jane from where she was now rolling the dough.

“Well, I don't...you bought broken stuff! This fits in here. Hold up... Okay, it's in. Aaah. Look at this. Oh my god! My mother is gonna be so proud. Yeah! Look at that! Yeah!” Jane mumbled as she and Maura put the pasta maker back together and successfully put the first piece of dough through the machine.

“Oh. Look at that,” Maura exclaimed happily, her eyes twinkling in delight.

* * *

Every muscle in Jane’s body ached, and she couldn’t wait to crawl into bed. The last few days had been some of the most exhausting days of her life both emotionally and physically. Regardless of what she had been repeating all day about _just doing her job_ , she couldn’t believe that she had actually jumped off a bridge into the Charles River. It wasn’t so much that she had risked her life to save someone she thought was innocent – that was part of her job. No, the part she couldn’t reconcile was leaving Maura behind.

Jane had had a wonderful evening making ravioli with Maura. The tension from earlier in the day had melted away and it felt like they were themselves again. They were now sitting in their designated positions on Maura’s couch, full from the ravioli, and sipping on their respective drinks.

“Mmm,” Maura hummed in contentment. Turning to Jane, she asked quietly, “Are you going to spend the night?”

“Is that okay?” Jane asked. “I’m feeling a bit tired to drive home.”

“Of course,” Maura responded. “You’re always welcome to spend the night. You know that.”

Jane nodded. “Thanks,” she said quietly.

“We should go up to bed,” Maura said. “We’ve had a long week.”

“Good idea,” Jane said. She stood and followed Maura up the stairs. They said goodnight in the hall and Jane made her way to the guest bedroom.

Jane changed into some flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt that she kept at Maura’s for occasions like this before she headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth and finish her bedtime routine. She was just about to climb into bed when she realized that she didn’t have her phone charger, and her phone’s battery was at 22%.

Jane ran back downstairs. She first looked around the kitchen to see if Maura’s cord was laying around, but she didn’t see it. She knew that Maura kept one in the drawer of the table behind the couch. When she opened the drawer, she quickly found the charger. She also noticed a notepad filled with Maura’s handwriting. Normally, she wouldn’t snoop, but she could tell that it was Maura’s bucket list. She must have hand-written it before she typed it. Jane figured it wouldn’t hurt to look at it since Maura had technically already showed her the list. She smiled as she reread the first item on Maura’s list – to do something from Jane’s list. Scanning over the rest of the list quickly, she felt warmth spread through her body as she thought about how lucky she was to have a best friend like Maura.

Jane flipped to the next page without realizing that the first page had been the full list Maura had showed her. Her breath instantly caught in her throat when she saw the first item on Maura’s list: **_Tell Jane I love her._**

Jane looked to the top of the page and noticed that it was labelled “My Real Bucket List.” She flipped back to the first page to see what Maura had labelled that list. She chuckled when she saw that it was labelled “My Jane-friendly Bucket List.”

Jane quickly pulled her phone out of her purse. She knew it was a gross invasion of Maura’s privacy, but she couldn’t help herself. As she snapped a picture of the _real_ list, she came to a decision. She was going to make Maura’s dreams come true. She was going to make sure they checked off every item on Maura’s Real Bucket List.


	2. I Love You

1) Tell Jane I love her

* * *

Jane went home the next morning after having a leisurely breakfast with Maura. It was Friday and Cavanaugh had given her the day off, meaning she had the whole weekend free. Maura had to go to work, but she decided to go in a little late after the stress of the last case. While Jane would have preferred to spend the day with Maura, she was going to use the time to come up with her plan to fulfill Maura’s bucket list.

As soon as she got home, Jane pulled out her laptop and made herself comfortable on the couch. She started by typing up Maura’s list so that it would be easier to read. After sending the pic to her email (she wanted to keep a copy with Maura’s handwriting), she deleted it from her phone. She didn’t want Maura to know she had found the list.

Jane set to work adding notes and ideas next to each of the items. She knew she couldn’t rush this; she had to play the long game (she snickered to herself thinking about how Maura would probably ask her what the phrase “play the long game” meant). Some of the items on the list would happen naturally in the course of their relationship when they started dating (or should it be _if_ they started dating?); some of the items would be easy to complete; but some of the items would definitely take some planning on Jane’s part to make sure she didn’t give herself away. Jane got more and more excited as she came up with new ideas on how to show Maura how much she meant to her.

* * *

Maura sat at her desk at her office. She was glad that she didn’t currently have an autopsy to complete because she was having a hard time focusing. Her thoughts kept drifting back to Jane and everything that had happened over the past few days. She had known for years that she had feelings for her best friend, but she had pushed them aside. At this point – or at least until this week – she had gotten so good at ignoring her feelings that she didn’t think about them often. She had decided long ago that she could never risk her friendship with Jane, so she focused on their friendship, locking her feelings up in a box.

However, standing on that bridge thinking she had lost Jane forever, the feelings had finally burst from the confines of the box she had stuffed them in years ago. She realized that the thought of Jane dying without knowing how much she meant to Maura was just as scary as telling her the truth. She wasn’t afraid that Jane would judge her or treat her differently if she knew her feelings. Her fear was more about how crushed she would be to hear that Jane didn’t feel the same way. She had wondered whether Jane had romantic feelings for her on the few occasions she allowed herself to think about her own feelings, but in the end, living in uncertainty seemed more appealing than learning Jane didn’t return her feelings.

She couldn’t live in this foggy uncertainty anymore, though. She had to talk to Jane, but first, she had to break up with Jack. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Jack. He had been wonderful, and maybe, if she didn’t know Jane, she could have fallen in love with him, built a life with him. But the reality was she did know Jane, and it wasn’t fair to Jack to stay with him when she had stronger feelings for Jane.

She felt even worse because she had just met his daughter. She knew this was a really big step for Jack, and what was more she had really liked Allie.

Sighing she picked up the phone and sent a text to Jack: **_Hi Jack. Are you available to meet for lunch?_** No matter how bad she felt about doing this, it would be significantly worse if she waited any longer.

Jack: **_Sure! I’d love to meet you for lunch. I could bring lunch and we could take a walk. It’s a beautiful day. We probably don’t have many nice days left before it gets cold._**

Maura: **_That sounds perfect. Can we meet in front of headquarters at noon?_**

Jack: **_That will work. See you then. Love you!_** **❤**

Maura put her phone down and buried her head in her hands as she tried to calm herself. She decided she needed something to distract her from her thoughts, so she decided to give herself 30 minutes to shop online before going back to her paperwork.

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully – unless you counted spending thousands of dollars shopping online. By the time she was to meet Jack for lunch, she felt better about everything than she had earlier in the day. She was still nervous about the upcoming conversations with both Jack and Jane, but she felt confident that she was making the right decision.

As soon as Maura walked up to Jack, Jack leaned forward to give her a soft kiss. She returned his kiss and gave him a smile before asking where he wanted to walk.

“Maybe just across the street to the park,” he suggested. “I’m sure we can find a picnic table or bench where we can sit to eat.”

Maura nodded and they started walking in the direction of the park. Jack told Maura how Allie had decided to talk to her mother about wearing lip gloss and other light makeup as long as it looks natural. He reiterated his thanks to Maura for helping to get Allie to open up about what was bothering her.

They found a bench along the main pathway through the park, where they sat down side-by-side. After a few minutes of eating in silence, Jack asked, “I get the sense that you didn’t invite me to have lunch just to spend time together. What’s wrong Maura?”

Maura played around with her salad for a few moments before lifting her head to look him in the eyes to answer. “I’m sorry, Jack,” she said. “I just…this is hard for me…I really like you, but…”

Jack nodded. “But not as much as you like someone else,” Jack finished her sentence, his shoulders falling slightly.

“How do you…I haven’t cheated on you…I’ve been fully in this relationship until…” Maura trailed off.

Jack laughed lightly. Jack liked Maura a lot, but he’d be lying if he said that he hadn’t expected it at some point. “Until Jane jumped off a bridge?” he suggested.

Maura nodded. “How do…How did you know?” she asked shakily.

Jack turned for better face Maura. “Look, Maura, I really like you too, but I’m not surprised that this is happening. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you cheated on me in any way while we were together, but there was always something about Detective Rizzoli and her role in your life.”

“Jane is the most important person in my life, but I truly thought that that would change when I met the right person. And with you, I thought maybe we were headed in that direction. I really thought I was starting to fall in love with you, even if I wasn’t there yet,” Maura explained. “I never intended to use you or to disrespect you or our relationship. For me, it was never, ‘Jack’s good for now, at least until I can have Jane.’ That was never my train of thought. It was always, ‘Jack’s amazing. I hope he turns out to be the person I want to build a life with.’”

“Maura, it’s okay,” Jack assured her. “Yes, I’m sad, and I’m disappointed, but I’m not angry or upset with you. And honestly, I’m incredibly grateful that you talked to me as soon as you realized this. I mean, I know the feelings have been there for a long time, probably years, but that’s different from coming to the realization that you need to act on those feelings. I’m not sure if I’m being clear, but I’m just saying, I understand where you’re coming from.”

Maura nodded. “Thank you,” she said as a few tears leaked from her eyes. “I also wanted to apologize to Allie – I guess through you. I know introducing me and Allie to each other was a big step for you, and I don’t want you to think I take that lightly. I obviously didn’t expect this to happen. So, I’m sorry to you for asking you to take that step with me, but then having my circumstances change. And please tell Allie that I think she is an amazing young lady. I’m sorry that I won’t be able to get to know her better, but as long as it’s okay with you and her mother, I will always be available to talk or provide help if she needs anything. Please tell her that I am sorry I wasn’t able to spend more time with her.”

“I will,” Jack said. “And thank you for saying that. Introducing you to Allie was a big deal to me. Usually, I don’t want my dates coming and going quickly in her life, so I only introduce people I’m serious with.”

“I’m so sorry,” Maura said.

Jack gave her a small smile before saying, “I wasn’t finished. What I was going to say is that I’m still glad that the two of you got to meet. She’s getting older and dealing with her own relationship issues. Maybe one day our story will help her. I guess what matters the most is that at no point while we were together or while you were breaking up with me did you try to blame me or try to hurt me or anything like that. And you cared about my and more importantly Allie’s well-being.”

Maura nodded.

Jack stood, reaching out his hand to help Maura stand. “I’ll walk you back to work,” he said. He took both of their trash and deposited it in the trashcan on their way out of the park. When they finally arrived in front of BPD, they stopped and turned to address each other.

“Goodbye, Jack,” Maura said.

“Goodbye, Maura,” Jack replied, reaching forward and pulling Maura into a hug. When he released her, he added, “Promise me you’ll talk to her.”

“I will,” Maura said with a nod. “Thank you.”

They waved goodbye and Maura made her way down to her office. She closed the doors behind her to give herself a few moments of peace and calm before getting back to work. After completing a few of her meditation routines, she felt significantly better, but she knew that she still needed to do one thing in particular to truly feel better.

Pulling out her phone, she sent Jane a text: **_J~ I hope you are relaxing today like you’re supposed to! How are you feeling? ~M_**

Jane: **_I’ve been sitting in front of the TV all day? Aren’t you proud of me? ~J_**

Maura: 🤦‍♀️ ** _Yes, J. I’m very proud of you. I honestly never thought I would be proud of you for sitting on the couch all day. ~M_**

Jane: 😜

Maura: **_Okay, moving on. I was wondering, do you want to come over for dinner tonight? You could spend the night, or maybe even the weekend since Sunday Dinner will be at my house. ~M_**

Jane: **_Sounds great! I can pick up dinner on the way. What time? ~J_**

Maura: **_I was actually planning to make dinner. Be there by 6:30pm? ~M_**

Jane: **_I’ll be there. Do you want me to bring anything else? ~J_**

Maura: **_Just yourself and anything you need to stay the night. ~M_**

Jane: **_Cool. See you then. ~J_**

* * *

A few hours later, Jane shut down her computer and made her way to her bedroom, stopping in the kitchen to grab a quick snack. Jane pulled out her duffle bag – a bag Maura bought for Jane after she got tired of Jane’s stuff constantly falling out of Jane’s old holey, beat-up bag she’d had since high school. Of course, she had complained and argued with Maura that she didn’t need a new bag, but Jane had to admit that she loved this bag now. Besides the fact that it was from Maura (who had been smart enough to have her initials embroidered on the bag so that Jane couldn’t return it), it was very functional.

Jane packed the items she would need for the next few days. She also made sure to grab a few extra t-shirts, a pair of yoga pants, a pair of jeans, and some undergarments to keep at Maura’s. She’d kept a few changes of clothes at Maura’s house for years, but since she often wore stuff home, sometimes she needed to refill her stock. If this weekend went the way she was hoping it would, maybe she would be staying over at Maura’s even more often, so it made sense to make sure she had everything she needed.

While she packed her bag, Jane thought about what she wanted to say to Maura. She wasn’t sure if she would broach the topic tonight or later this weekend; she wanted to play it by ear depending on how Maura seemed to be doing. The last thing she wanted was to overwhelm her.

Once she had everything she needed, Jane drove the familiar drive to Maura’s. She let herself in without knocking, as usual.

“Maur?” she called out.

“In the kitchen,” Maura called back.

“It smells amazing in here,” Jane said as she entered the kitchen, taking a seat at the island.

Maura smiled. “I’m making chicken and mushroom risotto,” she told Jane. “It’s almost ready. Can you pour the wine? I pulled out a bottle but didn’t have a chance to pour it.”

“Sure,” Jane replied, standing up and walking over to where Maura had left the wine bottle and two glasses. She filled the glasses and brought them to the table, placing them in front of their usual spots. As she did so, she couldn’t help but smile at how integrated her and Maura’s lives already were. She was comfortable here and comfortable with Maura; everything was easier when Maura was by her side.

“Jane,” Maura’s voice snapped Jane from her thoughts. “Dinner’s ready.”

Jane turned back to the kitchen, taking a plate from Maura, and filling it before returning to the table. “Thank you for making dinner,” she said as they sat down.

“It was no problem,” Maura said. “I was planning to make dinner tonight either way. I’d much rather have you here.” Maura gave Jane a smile before returning to her meal.

They ate in comfortable silence for a while. Jane was happy just to be with Maura. After dinner, Jane offered to wash the dishes, but Maura insisted on helping her.

After everything was cleaned up, Maura refilled her wine glass and offered a beer to Jane.

“What do you want to watch?” Maura asked softly when they were situated on the couch.

Jane shrugged. “A movie, maybe?” she suggested. “You can pick as long as you don’t pick a documentary,” Jane said teasingly.

Maura navigated to the on-demand menu. She slowly scrolled through the options. After going through multiple pages of movie options, including at least three that Jane knew Maura really wanted to see, without Maura saying a word, Jane turned to her friend.

“Are you okay?” Jane asked.

“Hmm?” Maura responded. “Oh, yes, I’m fine.”

Jane took the remote from Maura, turned off the TV, and put it aside to give Maura her full attention.

“Talk to me,” Jane said. “Are you still upset about me jumping off the bridge?”

“I’m not _not_ upset about you jumping off a bridge,” Maura said quickly, “but that’s not…I’ve been thinking…well, I…” Maura paused, letting out a deep sigh.

“Hey, look at me,” Jane said softly. Jane waited until Maura looked up and made eye contact. “You can tell me anything. You know that, right? Whatever it is, we’ll get through it. We always do.”

Maura gave Jane a soft smile, bringing her feet up on the couch and tucking them under her body. She took another deep breath before continuing, “I broke up with Jack today.”

“Oh, Maura, I’m so sorry,” Jane said. “Come here,” she added, gesturing for Maura to move into her arms. As she held Maura close, she whispered into her hair, “I’m really sorry.”

Without removing herself from Jane’s arms, Maura continued, “It’s okay. He’s a good person, and I enjoyed spending time with him, but I know I made the right decision.”

Maura sat up so that she could look at Jane. “I realized something when I was standing on that bridge. I…I…” Maura’s words got caught in her throat as she tried to gather her thoughts.

Jane’s heart was breaking for her friend. All she wanted to do was tell Maura she knew how Maura felt about her and that she felt the same way about Maura, but she knew that this was something Maura needed to tell her on her own terms. Jane reached out and took Maura’s hands in her own, hoping to convey support and offer reassurance through touch.

Maura blinked away the tears that had started to gather in her eyes as she continued, “Jane, I…I love you.”

“I love you too, Maura,” Jane said.

“No, you don’t understand,” Maura said, the pitch and volume of her voice rising with her distress. “I’m in love with you. I have been for years, but I was terrified of ruining our friendship, so I pushed those feelings away. I ignored them, and I tried to move on, but standing on that bridge thinking I might never see you again, I realized that I can’t keep ignoring my feelings.”

“Maura,” Jane tried.

“No, I’m not done yet,” Maura said. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you dying and not knowing how much you mean to me, how important you are to me.”

“I do know, Maura,” Jane said. “I have always known, but first, I need you to hear me. I. LOVE. YOU. TOO.” Jane said, punctuating every word. “I’m in love with you, too.”

“You, what?” Maura said, her face scrunched in confusion.

Jane laughed lightly. “You know, for a genius, you’re having a hard time with a really simple concept,” she teased. She had hoped Maura would laugh, but she still appeared to be in disbelief. Jane gave Maura’s hands another squeeze before continuing, “I’ve loved you for years, but I was afraid, too. But I want you to know, while I may not have known you were in love with me, I’ve always known how important I am to you, and I hope that even if you didn’t know that I was in love with you, you still knew how important you are to me. Maura, you’re the kindest, most generous person I’ve ever met, and I’m so lucky to call you my best friend. You show me every single day how much you care.”

“Your favorite beer is MGD64, but if they don’t have that, you like Blue Moon,” Maura said suddenly.

“What?” Jane said, caught off guard by the change in topic.

Maura dropped Jane’s hands and leaned against the couch. Jane sat back against the couch, as well. She put her arm around Maura’s shoulder and pulled her close. Maura rested her head against Jane’s shoulder before continuing, “When I make my grocery list, I always make sure I have the beer you like; I think about what snacks you prefer; I consider what meals you might eat here and choose recipes I know you will like. I don’t know Jack’s favorite drink or his favorite snacks. I would have gotten them had I known, but he usually just ate or drank whatever I offered him.”

“I’m not sure where you are going with this, but you’re making me sound very difficult,” Jane said.

Maura laughed. “Well, you are difficult, but that wasn’t the point I was trying to make. I was agreeing with what you said about how we show each other how much we care about each other in small ways every day. Maybe the beer and snacks example was a bad example, but my point is still valid. You do the same thing, you know? You keep wine at your apartment for me; you always let me choose what we watch if you know I’ve had a bad or stressful day, even if it’s technically your turn to pick; and you kept the marmite I gave you, despite the fact that I know you’ll never eat it.

“I wasn’t using Jack,” Maura continued. “I truly cared about him. I thought we had the potential to build a life together. I wanted to tell you last night how I felt, but I knew I owed it to Jack to break up with him first.”

“I know you weren’t using him,” Jane assured her. “I understand because I’ve been in the same situation.”

“What does this mean?” Maura asked.

“What do you want it to mean?”

Maura laughed. “Honestly, I was so focused on what I was going to say to you that I forgot to think about what comes next,” she said. “But I suppose…well, I’d like to explore a romantic relationship with you.”

Jane snorted. “Way to find the most unromantic way to say that,” she teased, causing Maura to roll her eyes. “But I’d like that,” Jane added softly.

Jane shifted away from Maura so she could face her. Maura responded by sitting up as well. “Maura Isles, will you go on a date with me?” Jane asked sincerely.

A huge smile overtook Maura’s face. “Yes, I would like to go on a date with you, Jane Rizzoli,” she said. “But you’d better not wait until that date to kiss me.”

Jane returned Maura’s smile before leaning forward and capturing Maura’s lips in a loving kiss. Maura’s hands instantly went to cup Jane’s face, and Jane’s hands wrapped around Maura’s waist, pulling her closer.

Maura pulled back, a smile still on her lips. “I love you, Jane.”

“I love you, too, Maura,” Jane replied before leaning forward to resume their kiss.

* * *

Bucket List Count: 1/50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are 50 items on the Bucket List, but there won’t be 50 chapters. Some chapters will include more than one bucket list item. I’m not 100% sure how long this story will end up being, but right now, I’m expecting 20-25 chapters.


	3. Up All Night

3) Stay up all night talking  
4) Play a get-to-know-you party game

* * *

“Sleep in my room tonight?” Maura asked Jane shyly as they turned off the TV. After finally admitting their feelings, they had spent the last couple of hours cuddling on the couch while watching a movie. “Just to talk and sleep,” Maura clarified.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Jane replied. She followed Maura upstairs, stopping briefly to change into her pajamas and get ready for bed in the guest room. She crawled into Maura’s bed to wait for her while she finished her own bedtime routine. She was starting to feel incredibly nervous. She started unconsciously rubbing at her scars as she started worrying about what would come next. Would their relationship fundamentally change? Of course, it would in some ways; they both wanted it to, but Jane didn’t want to lose what really made them _them._ Maura meant everything to her, but neither one of them had a particularly good history with romantic relationships. The last thing Jane wanted was to hurt Maura.

“Stop overthinking,” Maura whispered as she reached out to stop Jane’s hands from irritating her scars. Jane jumped slightly as she hadn’t heard Maura get in bed while she was so lost in thought.

“I’m sorry,” Jane said quietly, still looking at her hands.

“Jane, I’m scared, too,” Maura said. “Our relationship is the most important thing in my life, so the last thing I want is to do something to ruin that.”

Jane nodded, but she still wouldn’t make eye contact at Maura.

“Lie down with me,” Maura said softly as she tugged on Jane’s hand. “Maybe if we talk more about this, it will ease both of our concerns.”

Jane followed Maura’s request and they both lay down so that they were lying face-to-face a few inches apart. Maura threaded her fingers with Jane’s, pulling them towards her to place a soft kiss on her knuckles before resting their intertwined hands between them on the bed.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Jane whispered.

“I don’t want to hurt you either,” Maura replied. “I think in a way though, we’ve been hurting each other already by running from this. Our lives are already so entwined that we have opened ourselves up to that kind of hurt; we already trust each other more than anyone else – or at least that’s how I feel about you.”

“I trust you more than anyone else, too.”

Maura smiled and continued, “Does being in a committed romantic relationship offer new opportunities to hurt each other? Probably, but I’m not sure any of it would be worse than how we could hurt each other now. And we would no longer be hurting each other by withholding our true feelings.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Jane replied. “I have to admit that even if it wasn’t fair, it definitely hurt to see you with other people.”

“I know what you mean. Other than the times when I thought you might die, I’m not sure if anything has ever hurt more than when I thought you were going to marry Casey.”

“I’m sorry,” Jane said.

Maura shook her head. “I’m not telling you to make you feel bad,” she assured Jane. “I’m just saying we have the ability to hurt each other whether we’re just friends or in a romantic relationship.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“I’d like to ask you some things, but I’m not sure if it’s okay,” Maura admitted.

“What do you mean? You can ask me anything,” Jane said, confused.

“I know I can ask you anything I _need_ to know, but…” Maura trailed off uncertainly.

Jane thought for a minute. She thought she knew what Maura was getting at. Even though she truly meant that Maura could ask her anything, including the uncomfortably personal questions she thought Maura was referring to, she wasn’t sure how to convince Maura of that. Then, she realized she could kill two birds with one stone. Hopefully, her idea wouldn’t give her away, but it was worth a try.

“Have you ever heard of the game 20 questions? There are actually two ways to play that I know of. One way is more of a deductive reasoning game where one person has an object in mind and the other person can ask twenty yes or no questions to try to guess the object, but the other way is more of a conversation starter. Basically, we each get to ask 20 questions of the other person. They can be anything at all and the other person has to answer. In fact, the goal of the game is usually to get the other person to admit to something embarrassing or super personal. Think like “truth or dare” type questions.”

“Okay…” Maura said skeptically.

“I don’t want to play to try to embarrass each other, but I think it could be a way that we could learn more about each other. The rule is supposed to be that the other person has to answer no matter what, but I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I think as long as we both agree to answer even if the questions are a bit uncomfortable, if either one of us really doesn’t want to answer the question we can skip it. The other person wouldn’t lose a question though, so we’d each get 20 questions answered.”

“That seems reasonable.”

“I promise to answer anything you want to know, even if it’s related to a topic that makes me uncomfortable – like sex or past relationships or whatever – okay?”

Finally, Maura smiled. “Okay, I like this idea, but will you go first?” she asked.

“Sure, and I’ll start with something a little easier,” Jane said. “Um…oh, okay. What was your first crush like?”

Maura laughed lightly. “Oh, my first crush was a girl at my boarding school,” Maura reminisced. “She was on the crew team and really popular. I doubt she even knew who I was though. She was tall and thin, but she was really strong, too. She had long, thick, light brown hair and sparkling blue eyes. She was also really smart.”

“What was her name?”

“Lila.”

“Do you know where she is now?”

“No, we weren’t friends or anything. I’m sure I could find out through the school’s website, but I’ve never felt the need to,” Maura said. “Do these follow-up questions count towards your twenty?”

Jane laughed. “Oh, I don’t know,” she admitted. “Do you want them to?”

“No, as long as I get follow up questions, too.”

“Okay,” Jane replied. “Your turn.”

“Okay,” Maura said with a smile. “Do you believe in fate?”

“I’m not sure,” Jane admitted. “I was raised to believe that God has a plan, and I guess I do sort of believe that. I think I believe that is more of an overall plan for humanity though, I don’t think that each of us has a predetermined path set from birth. I think our decisions matter.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Maura said. “I don’t believe in fate, but I can see the elegance of the idea that humanity is headed in a certain trajectory that we all contribute to. I do believe that we are all interconnected in ways we are nowhere close to understanding.”

Jane nodded. “Okay, best case scenario, where do you see yourself in five to ten years?”

Maura blushed. She was nervous about telling Jane what she envisioned for her future – for their future. She had promised to answer the questions honestly though, and if she wanted Jane to do that too, she owed it to Jane to try. “Well, I, um, I know we haven’t really talked about what we want together for the future, and the most important thing to me is that we decide together what we want. Without knowing what you want for the future, though, in five to ten years, I can see us married with one or two kids, maybe one more on the way. I think we’d still be in Boston and we’d both still be working in our careers, but maybe in a slightly…I don’t know how to say this…maybe in a less intense way? I know that our careers are important to both of us, and I’d never want to give up my job completely and I would never ask that of you. However, ideally, I’d like us to be able to also be able to give our children a more stable life. I’m not 100% sure what that would look like, though.”

“I agree,” Jane said. “If we were to have kids, I wouldn’t want them to worry whether or not I’m going to come home every night. I don’t want to leave the force, but I do think there are a lot of options available, including moving up the ranks. Lieutenants spend most of their time in the office. There’s also teaching at the academy. I don’t know; I guess there are a lot of options.”

“Do you want kids?” Maura asked.

“Yeah, I do,” Jane said softly. “I’ve always wanted two to three.”

“I like that number,” Maura said with a smile. “Do you know how you’d like to have children? I mean, we can’t exactly get pregnant the usual way. Do you want to be pregnant? Do you want biological children? Would you prefer to adopt?”

“I don’t have strong preferences,” Jane said. “I’d be very open to any of those options, but my first reaction is I like the idea of both of us doing it at least once. Maybe using each other’s eggs, so like I’d carry the child conceived with your egg and you’d carry the child conceived with my egg.”

“I like that idea,” Maura said. “I’m also open to various options, so we can continue that conversation as we get closer to that. I don’t want to wait too long, though. We are already 38, so every year we wait increases the risk of pregnancy for both mother and baby.”

“I agree, but we don’t need to decide tonight,” Jane said. “Who’s turn is it?”

“Yours.”

“What is one mistake you could never forgive in a relationship?” Jane asked.

“Abuse,” Maura said quickly.

“Well, right, obviously, I guess I meant something…” Jane wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence.

“Something that might actually happen?” Maura offered, “because I don’t believe that you would ever abuse me or our future children.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s what I meant.”

“I don’t think forgiveness is really the word that applies to what I’m about to say, but I think it answers more of what you are trying to get at,” Maura said, couching her answer. “I don’t think I would ever be able to stay in a relationship with someone who struggles with alcohol or drug abuse. However, saying I could never forgive that wouldn’t be correct because I believe that both are illnesses. If you ever suffered from alcoholism or drug abuse, I would stand by you as someone who cares about you, someone who loves you. I would do everything in my power to get you any help you needed, no matter what. But I’m not sure I would be able to stay in a relationship with you, and perhaps more importantly, I don’t think I would feel comfortable allowing someone struggling with substance abuse to live with my children. I do believe people can recover from substance abuse though with the right help, so I guess maybe under the right circumstances I could forgive…” Maura trailed off because she knew she was rambling.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jane assured her. “I understand what you’re saying.”

“Okay, can I ask you the same question?” Maura asked.

“Personally, I would struggle with infidelity, but knowing the affect parents who struggle with alcoholism or drug abuse can have on children, I agree with you on that one, too,” Jane said. “Um, okay, maybe a lighter question, now. Uhh, oh, I know. What is your favorite childhood memory?”

Maura smiled. “My fifth birthday,” she answered. She told Jane the story of her fifth birthday and how her parents were around and actually involved in making it special. They continued asking each other light questions for a while until Maura decided to ask one of the questions that had prompted the idea to play this game.

“Have you ever been with a woman before?” Maura asked Jane.

“Yes, I was sort of in a relationship with a woman when I was in the academy,” Jane said.

“What do you mean by sort of?”

“Neither of us were out,” Jane answered, “so we were only together in secret. We were together about a year and a half. At first, neither of us wanted to tell anyone. I was afraid my family would freak out. I never thought they would be able to accept me being with a woman.”

Maura felt herself get warm as Jane told her story. Even though she knew Jane wasn’t talking about her, it made her worry about whether Jane would be afraid to tell other people about them. Maura didn’t want to have to hide their relationship and she wasn’t sure she would be able to. She also wasn’t sure if she would be okay if Jane’s family rejected her.

“She was in a similar situation. Her family was actually openly homophobic. After about year though, the secrecy was getting to me. I had started to push my family away because I hated hiding something so big from them. I tried to convince her that we should bite the bullet and come out, that we should be together for real. She refused, so for the next six months we basically went downhill. We kept seeing each other, and we continued to sleep together, but it got pretty toxic. There was a lot of angry sex, a lot of “this is the last time we do this.” It ended for good when I was sent undercover.”

“I’m sorry, Jane,” Maura said softly.

“She was killed in the line of duty while I was on an extended undercover assignment,” Jane continued, causing Maura to gasp. “But because we were never officially together, no one told me. I didn’t find out until my assignment was over. I wasn’t able to go to her funeral or anything. I also felt like I wasn’t allowed to grieve. Outing her after her death would have been a huge betrayal.”

“So, you never told anyone?” Maura asked.

“No, eventually I told Ma,” Jane said as tears leaked from her eyes. “Someone made some offhand comment at a family dinner – I don’t even remember what it was – and I lost it. I completely broke down. Ma, being Ma, of course, followed me to my bedroom. I told her everything. I told her about Julie, about our relationship, everything.”

“What did she…how did she react?” Maura couldn’t help but asking.

“She reacted better than I expected, but it was still hard for her to accept,” Jane said, and Maura felt her heart drop into her stomach (even if that wasn’t actually possible). Jane must have seen the fear that crossed Maura’s face though, because the next thing she said was, “Maura, you have nothing to worry about. I’m not asking you to hide this, and Ma is going to be okay with it. She loves you and nothing is going to change that.”

“She can love me but still not want us to be together,” Maura said, voicing her concerns.

Jane shook her head. “I said it was hard for her to accept, but she has come to accept it. From the start, though, the most important thing to her was that I was happy. Her biggest priority is that all her kids are happy, and that includes you. It took me a while to understand, but what I’ve come to realize is that for Ma, my sexuality was something she could better understand and accept when it was something concrete as opposed to accepting it in general terms.

“What I mean is that she was never going to set me up with a woman and I doubt she would just openly tell her friends or family that I am bisexual. But when it comes to my relationship or whatever it was with Julie, she’s never treated it any different or talked about it any differently than she has my relationships with men. And Maura, she knows how I feel about you, and she’s okay with it. Actually, she’s more than okay with it. She loves the idea of us together because she loves you.”

“You’ve talked to her about it? About me?”

Jane laughed. “Well, since you’re my best friend and she _lives_ with you, it would be weird if we didn’t talk about you, but I know that’s not what you meant,” Jane had to tease Maura, but she made sure to assure her as well. “We don’t talk about it directly, but we talk around it. She’s made it clear, especially over the last couple of years, that she approves of us together. I think she figured out my feelings for you when Tommy first got home and the two of you were spending a lot of time together. Ma was really hoping that you guys would get together, and I _may_ have snapped at her.”

Maura laughed. “Yes, you weren’t thrilled with that idea. I meant what I said, though. I like Tommy a lot, but I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jane said, leaning forward to kiss Maura. They both got lost in the kiss for a few minutes.

Maura was the first to pull back, unable to stop the next question from leaving her mouth. “What about the rest of your family?”

“Frankie knows about Julie and both of them know about my sexuality. I don’t know if Pop knows. I’ve never told him or talked to him about it, but I suspect Ma probably did at some point,” Jane explained. “I don’t know if Frankie and Tommy know how I feel about you. Although, they probably suspect; I doubt they’ll be surprised. It’s just that ever since I nearly punched Tommy when he tried to kiss you, all three of us have avoided talking about you like that.”

Maura laughed. That was a very Rizzoli like response. “I think Frankie knows,” Maura admitted softly. “I think he knows how I feel about you, too. He kissed me this past spring, and after…”

“He what?!” Jane nearly yelled. “When? What? Why didn’t either of you tell me?”

Maura couldn’t help but laugh at Jane. “Honestly, we were both embarrassed. It was really awkward. It very much felt like I was kissing my brother, and I’m pretty sure it was the same for him.”

Jane huffed. “When was this?” she asked, still annoyed at her brother.

“It was the night you told me you were pregnant,” Maura whispered as though saying it quietly would ease the pain of the memory of Jane’s pregnancy and miscarriage.

Jane’s face scrunched in displeasure.

“Jane, it wasn’t a big deal. Please don’t make a big deal out of this,” Maura pleaded.

Hearing the desperation in Maura’s voice, Jane sighed. “Fine, I won’t,” she conceded.

“Thank you,” Maura said quietly. “I think it’s your turn to ask a question.”

“Um, what is a valuable lesson you have learned from a previous romantic relationship?” Jane asked.

“Oh, I suppose I’ve learned quite a few things from previous romantic relationships,” Maura stalled.

“Okay, so pick one.”

“It’s going to sound selfish,” Maura said.

“I highly doubt it, but even if it is, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Jane assured her.

Maura sighed. “That I want someone who puts me first and whom I want to put first,” she said.

“I don’t think that’s selfish,” Jane said. “You should be with someone who puts you first.”

Maura scooched closer to Jane, snuggling into her side. “Garret never put me first, but I never put him first either. I did put Ian first, at least for a while, but he never made me a priority,” Maura explained. “Jack put me first. Well, no I suppose he put Allie first, but I’m not really talking about in relation to kids. So other than Allie, he did put me first, but I never put him first. You’ve always put me first, even when you probably shouldn’t have, and I put you first. That’s why I think we’ll work.”

“Yeah, I think that makes a lot of sense,” Jane said.

They continued asking each other questions, eventually losing count of how many they’d asked. It wasn’t until Jane yawned that Maura looked over to the clock. She laughed, causing Jane to turn to look at the clock as well.

“It’s morning,” Jane said.

“Yeah, we stayed up all night talking,” Maura said with a small smile, and with that, she leaned up to pull Jane into a passionate kiss.

* * *

Bucket List Count: 3/50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know we skipped number 2 on the list. This wasn’t a mistake. The items were written in a certain order, but they won’t necessarily be completed in that order.


	4. Date Night

16) Make out at the drive in  
31) Climb to the top of a building and have drinks on the roof

* * *

Maura groaned as she hung up another rejected outfit in her closet. Jane was taking her on their first official date tonight, and she could not decide what to wear. It didn’t help that Jane had refused to tell her where they were going or what they were doing. All Jane had told her was to make sure she dressed warm enough to be outside in the late-September evening. At the same time, she wanted to look nice for Jane; she wanted Jane to _notice_ her, which was a bit ridiculous since Jane had literally seen her in everything from her most expensive evening gown to her designer dresses to her overpriced loungewear (and maybe even wrapped only in her fancy fluffy towels).

Normally, for a first date, she would choose one of her couture dresses that perfectly highlighted her body, but that wouldn’t exactly keep her warm outside. It was a beautiful fall Saturday and Jane was picking her up at 1pm. Whatever she had planned, though, seemed to go well into the evening. This made Maura smile. She loved that Jane seemed to be planning something other than taking her to a fancy restaurant well outside of Jane’s price-range in an attempt to impress her, but what she loved even more was that Jane planned for them to be together all afternoon and evening.

Finally, she decided layers were her best option. It was 72°F and sunny right now, but it was supposed to be closer to 60°F by 9pm. She selected her best fitting jeans that were both comfortable and flattering. They perfectly hugged her hips, ass, and thighs, leaving little to the imagination. She placed the jeans and a pair of knee-high black heeled boots on her bed before returning to her closet to choose a top.

She stood in only her matching black lace bra and panties scanning through her shirts, blouses, sweaters, and jackets. Finally, she settled on a fitted v-neck sleeveless black top, which she paired with a lightweight wrap-around green sweater that brought out the green flecks in her hazel eyes. She also grabbed her black leather jacket, deciding the soft butter-like leather would provide both comfort and warmth without deflecting from her carefully curated outfit.

She quickly dressed, leaving her jacket laying neatly on the bed as she went to select jewelry to complete the outfit. She quickly chose an open-heart necklace that was the perfect length to draw eyes to her chest and paired it with a simple diamond bracelet and white gold hoop earrings.

At the last minute, she decided to switch purses, choosing a soft black leather Michael Kors bag that was more functional than some of her more expensive bags but still matched her outfit, the silver hardware paralleling her own jewelry choices.

She finally made it downstairs at quarter to one where she nervously began pacing around the kitchen trying to find something to occupy her mind. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Angela arrive home to the guest house. She hoped that Angela wouldn’t come in the main house. Normally, she loved that Angela stopped by just to say hello, but right now her nerves were getting the better of her. Angela would definitely notice, and Maura wasn’t ready to answer her questions.

Maura and Jane had decided to start a romantic relationship two weeks ago, but they hadn’t told anyone yet. They weren’t planning on keeping it a secret, but they both wanted to have their first date before they made any kind of announcement. They had agreed, though, that if anyone asked outright, they would answer truthfully. No one had asked; in fact, no one seemed to notice anything different between the two women, which probably said more about the nature of their relationship when they were supposedly platonic than it did about the new dimensions of their relationship.

Maura breathed a sigh of relief when Angela disappeared inside her house, but she jumped when there was a knock at her front door. Normally, Jane would just walk in her house, but she wasn’t surprised that Jane decided to knock for their date.

Maura took a deep breath, trying to center herself and calm her nerves before she answered the door. Opening the door, she found her best friend standing there with a dazzling smile and a bouquet of flowers in her hand. Maura took in everything that was Jane as she stood in front of her. She was pleased to discover that Jane’s clothing choices complemented her own; Jane’s dark jeans a contrast to Maura’s lighter pair, her black blouse matching the black in Maura’s sleeveless top and leather jacket. Jane also had knee-high black boots on, but the rider style meant that with Maura in heels, they would be approximately the same height.

“Uh, these are for you,” Jane said nervously, holding out the bouquet of flowers to Maura. Maura blushed, realizing that she had been openly staring at Jane without saying anything for an uncomfortably long amount of time.

“Thank you,” she replied breathily, cringing internally at how she sounded. She took the flowers from Jane and stepped back to allow Jane to enter the house. “Let me put these in a vase and we can go,” Maura said as she led Jane to the kitchen.

“I know it’s kind of cliché to bring flowers for a first date, but I tried to – I don’t know – make it a little more special by not just bringing roses. All of the flowers in the bouquet grow naturally locally and are in bloom in the fall in Boston or the northeast,” Jane explained.

“Thank you,” Maura said, smiling at Jane. Jane quickly helped her cut the stems of the flowers as Maura filled the vase with water and the included plant food.

As she threw away the trash, Jane asked Maura, “Are you ready to go?”

“Yes,” Maura replied and followed Jane out the front door, locking it behind them. “Wait, why do you have Frankie’s truck?” Maura asked, noticing the vehicle parked in front of her house.

Jane laughed lightly. “It’ll make sense later,” she told Maura, the light tease in her voice daring Maura to try to get additional details out of her.

“You’re not going to tell me, are you?” Maura asked with a smile.

Jane laughed again. “Nope,” she replied.

Maura laughed and let it go, deciding to just let Jane guide the evening. They fell into silence as Maura watched the streets of Boston pass out the window, her fingers playing nervously with her purse that she had resting in her lap. She didn’t comment as Jane drove them out of the city and through Cambridge.

Jane drove them to a local apple orchard. When she parked, she turned to Maura and said softly, “Hey, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. You know that, right?”

“What?” Maura asked, turning her head to look at Jane.

“I can tell how nervous you are,” Jane said as gently as possible. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. If you aren’t ready yet, we can pick a different day, and you can plan what we do if you want. Or, if you’re reconsidering or have changed your mind about…about us, i-i-it’s okay. I-I-I’d understand. I just, I don’t want to lose you.”

Maura shook her head as she tried to find the right words. She hadn’t realized how her own nerves and silence might be interpreted by Jane. “No, I don’t want that,” Maura assured her. “I am nervous, but not because I don’t want this or because I’ve changed my mind. I’m nervous because this means so much to me, because you mean so much to me. I’m terrified I’m going to mess this up.”

“You’re not gonna mess this up,” Jane said, and Maura could hear the love and care in her voice. Jane reached out and took Maura’s hand in her own, pulling it towards her. She held Maura’s hand in both of her as she continued, “We already know each other. We already like each other, and we like spending time together. It’s not like I’m going to react differently if you make a weird comment just because this is a date rather than us hanging out. Remember, we’re still us.”

Maura smiled softly at Jane. Jane gave her hand a quick squeeze, leaned over to leave a quick kiss on her cheek, and got out of the car. She was at Maura’s door, holding it open for her, before Maura could react. “I don’t think you’re going to want to carry your purse,” Jane said quietly as Maura got out of the car. “Why don’t you grab your phone and I’ll hide it?” Maura did as Jane suggested and watched as Jane buried her purse expertly.

Jane linked their hands and led Maura into the orchard. She purchased them a basket to fill with apples. However many apples they could fit in the basket, they got to bring home. The attendant told them that they were also allowed to eat apples while in the orchard. Jane took the basket and led Maura through the rows of trees.

“Let’s go a bit farther out,” Jane said. “All the good apples will already have been picked from the trees close to the front.” Her excitement was palpable, and she had a little bounce in her step as she walked.

“Okay,” Maura said, smiling at Jane’s enthusiasm.

“Ohhh, this looks like a good place to start,” Jane said, stopping in front of a row of trees that seemed relatively untouched. She reached up and pulled down a bright red apple. She looked it over quickly before taking a big bite. As the sweet-sour juices ran into her mouth, she let out an involuntary moan.

Maura felt her body flush with heat at the sound, and a giggle escaped her mouth. Jane turned and offered her a bite. Without taking the apple from Jane’s hand, Maura took a big bite.

“Mmm, that is delicious,” Maura said.

Jane laughed. “I honestly expected you to turn it down since it hasn’t been washed,” Jane admitted as Maura plucked the apple from her grasp and took another bite.

Maura swallowed. “Actually, it’s perfectly safe to eat apples right off the tree. The combination of sunlight and rain effectively removes any pesticides or sprays applied to the apple trees, and they haven’t yet been handled by people, so they aren’t contaminated through improper handling,” Maura explained before taking another bite.

When Maura finished her bite, Jane stepped into her space and pulled her in for a kiss. Maura could taste the sweetness of the apple on Jane’s lips as they moved against hers. She swiped her tongue across Jane’s bottom lip and Jane immediately granted her access. Maura couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped her lips as their tongues touched.

Jane was the first to let go, and Maura immediately missed the feeling of Jane’s body pressed against hers. When Jane offered her one of those smiles she saved especially for Maura, Maura felt herself swoon a bit. She brought the apple back to her mouth to hide some of the blush that was covering her chest and face. Jane either didn’t notice, or more likely noticed but didn’t comment, as she turned back to the apple tree, adding a few perfect apples to their basket.

Maura watched Jane search for apples for a few minutes. She pointed out a few nice-looking ones that were slightly higher up and enjoyed the sight of Jane stretching her body as she reached up to pick them. Maura finished her apple and threw the core off to the side before she started picking some apples of her own, adding them to the basket.

As Maura dropped two more apples in the basket, she noticed Jane staring up. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“There are so many nice apples just out of our reach,” Jane complained.

“True, but there are a lot of good ones that we can reach,” Maura countered logically. Jane glanced at her and Maura could immediately tell that Jane’s brain was coming up with some ridiculous scheme to get the apples she wanted. Maura bit her bottom lip in an attempt to stop the smile from growing on her face, but her attempt failed, and Jane noticed it immediately.

Jane turned quickly and squatted down. “Climb on my back,” she commanded Maura.

“What? No!” Maura said as she laughed.

“Aww, come on, Maur, please?” Jane pleaded. She had stood back up and was once again facing Maura offering Maura her best pout. “Please?”

“That’s not…no, I’m going to hurt you,” Maura tried halfheartedly.

Sensing the gap in Maura’s denial, Jane pounced, “You’re not going to hurt me. I lift more than you at the gym.” Jane turned around again and squatted with her back facing Maura. She looked back over her shoulder, offering Maura another pleading look that Maura knew she was powerless to resist.

“I still think this is a bad idea,” Maura grumbled as she walked up behind Jane. “What do you want me to do? You’re too low for be to climb on your back.”

“Sit on my shoulders,” Jane said as though it was obvious.

“Oh, Jane, no,” Maura countered, but Jane was faster. With Maura standing close, Jane grabbed her hands and pulled her forward. The momentum brought Maura on top of her and Jane expertly put her arms through Maura’s legs and hoisted her onto her shoulders in one swift motion. Maura shrieked in surprise, but her shriek quickly melted into giggles as she grabbed onto the only thing she could to steady herself – Jane’s head. Jane used one hand to hold Maura in place by holding onto her legs, while picking up the basket with the other hand. She stood quickly, and Maura tightened her grip on Jane to keep her balance. Her laughter only making balance harder.

“This is ridiculous,” Maura told Jane through her laughter.

“But look at the apples you can reach now,” Jane countered.

Maura looked up. Jane was right about the apples. Maura reached up and picked one, taking a bite before holding it in front of Jane’s mouth so that she could take a bite.

“See, that one is even better than the last one,” Jane mumbled with her mouth full of apple.

Maura smacked her lightly on the head. “Don’t talk with your mouthful,” she chastised, but she knew that Jane could still hear the smile in her voice.

“More please,” was Jane’s only response. Maura handed her the apple and reached up to pick a few more, adding them to their basket. She looked around, eventually directing Jane to the next tree so that she could get a few more. At this point their basket was pretty much full. Jane dropped the apple core off to the side before she asked, “Do you want to come down?”

“Sure,” Maura said. Jane slowly lowered herself into a squat. She placed the basket on the ground before she reached up, allowing Maura to use her hands to balance herself as she crawled off of Jane’s shoulders.

“Admit that that was worth it?” Jane teased as she stepped towards Maura.

Maura shook her head as she tried to hide her smile. Jane wrapped her arms around Maura’s waist and pulled her close. With her face inches from Maura’s she whispered, “Admit it.” Maura could smell apples on Jane’s breath as she tried to resist giving into Jane. She brought her hands up threading her fingers into the hair at the nape of Jane’s neck with her other hand gently resting on her back. She shook her head again, silly grin still plastered to her face. She gasped when Jane gave up the game and closed the distance for a kiss. Maura’s fingers tightened, digging into Jane’s skin as though if she held on tight enough, Jane would stay there forever.

Jane stepped back with a laugh. “It was worth it,” she said with a hint of teasing and a hint of seduction and Maura wasn’t quite sure which part of what happened Jane was talking about. Maura followed Jane, somewhat flustered, back towards the main area of the orchard. Jane purchased them cider and donuts (including enough of both to bring home) and they sat down at a small picnic table to eat their snack.

They made small talk while they ate and drank, and Maura marveled internally at how _normal_ yet _extraordinary_ everything felt. She had been so worried that the change in their relationship would make things awkward, but it didn’t. Once they got out into the orchard, Maura forgot about her worries and just started enjoying her time with Jane. Being with Jane was comfortable. Even kissing Jane, which was a relatively new part of their relationship, felt like they had been doing it for years. Jane was right; when it came down to it, they were still them.

“Are you okay?” Jane asked. “You got quiet all of the sudden.”

“Yes, I’m wonderful,” Maura responded honestly. “Today has been so much fun. Thank you, Jane.”

“We’re not done,” Jane said with a smile. “This is just part one.”

“Part one of how many parts?” Maura asked.

“Three,” Jane answered. “I hope that’s okay,” she added self-consciously.

“Of course, it’s okay,” Maura assured her, reaching out to settle Jane’s nervously fidgeting fingers.

“Okay, good,” Jane said. “We should probably go, though. The next part has a specific start time.”

“Okay,” Maura said, collecting their trash and bringing it over to the trashcan.

Jane carried the apples and cider to the car while Maura carried the donuts.

“I have a better place for these, but let’s just leave them behind the seats until we get to our next location,” Jane said. “It will be easier to put the away there.”

“Okay,” Maura responded, placing the items on the small backseat of the truck (which, no matter how many times Maura had seen Frankie’s truck, Maura still wasn’t sure how anyone could comfortably sit back there) so that they wouldn’t fall over while they were driving.

Jane drove them down a number of side roads that Maura was pretty sure she had never been on. She was impressed that Jane seemed to know exactly where she was going, and she began to wonder how much time and energy Jane had put into planning this date. Maura reached across the seat and took Jane’s hand in her own as they rode in comfortable silence.

When she noticed Jane was pulling into a drive-in movie theater, Maura sat up in excitement. “I’ve always wanted to go to a drive-in movie,” Maura said happily.

“Really?” Jane said, and Maura couldn’t tell if she was teasing her or not, but she didn’t have time to ask as Jane pulled up to the ticket booth. After Jane had paid for their entry and started to look for a good parking spot, she turned to Maura. “I know it’s a silly kids movie,” Jane said, referring to the movie The Boxtrolls that she had just purchased tickets for, “but it was the best option I could find for something we would both at least somewhat enjoy and worked timewise.

“It’s perfect,” Maura answered, and she meant it.

Jane found a spot and pulled in backwards so that the tailgate was facing the screen. They both got out. Jane held out money to Maura and asked, “I brought real food too, but do you want to go get some snacks while I set everything up?”

“Sure, but I can pay,” Maura said.

Jane shook her head. “No, I asked you on a date, so I pay,” Jane said, and Maura relented, taking the money from Jane with a smile. “Please get popcorn!” Jane called after her.

* * *

While Maura went to get snacks, Jane opened the bed of the truck, which she had filled with pillows and blankets. She also had a cooler of food, which she moved to give them easy access. She expertly set everything up so that they could set up to see the movie but still be close and cuddle under the blankets.

Jane stepped back to admire her handiwork and suddenly felt nervous. Looking at the setup, she realized that it looked like she had set them up for a hookup, but that hadn’t been her intention. She wanted to enjoy the evening, even make-out a bit, but she didn’t want anything further. Besides not wanting to rush things, she didn’t want their first time to be in the back of a truck like they were teenager, nor would she ever want to have sex at a kids’ movie surrounded my families.

Jane jumped when Maura returned, holding a tray full of drinks and snacks. Maura placed the tray on the open tailgate before turning to look at Jane. Taking in the expression on her face, she asked, “Is something wrong?”

“Not wrong,” Jane said slowly. “It’s just…I just…I realized how this looks,” she admitted softly.

Maura looked back and forth between the truck and Jane, thoroughly confused. “I don’t know what you mean,” she said as she leaned against the truck.

Jane sighed, realizing that Maura might not be familiar with the cliché teenage movie scene where couples have sex in the back of the car at the drive-in. She wanted to deflect, but she decided that wouldn’t be fair to Maura.

“Let’s get comfortable and I’ll tell you,” Jane said, helping Maura climb into the truck. They both removed their boots and settled in. Jane opened the cooler, handed Maura the salad she had brought for her, and pulled out a sandwich for herself.

Once they were settled with their food, the movie started. The sun was just starting to set, but because it was a family-oriented movie, it started before dark. They watched in silence for a while, but Maura hadn’t forgotten about Jane’s comment. “What did you mean earlier when you said you realized how this looked?”

Jane turned slightly to face Maura. “In movies, when couples go to drive-in movies, they often have sex. When I was looking at the set-up, I realized that it looked like I was basically setting up a sex bed, but that wasn’t what I intended. I-I-I just wanted to cuddle and maybe kiss, if you wanted to, that is. I wasn’t trying to imply or suggest sex, especially not at a kids’ movie. I also don’t want our first time to be like this.”

Maura smiled. “It’s okay, Jane. I didn’t take it that way,” Maura assured her. “I love this, and I just want to be here with you. We don’t even have to kiss if you don’t want to.”

“I do want to,” Jane said quietly.

Maura gave her a chaste kiss before returning to her salad. They leaned against each other as they each finished their dinners and dug into the snacks. Once they were both finished eating, Maura snuggled into Jane’s side. Jane wrapped her arm around Maura’s shoulders, holding her close. As the sun set and the temperature started to cool, Jane also draped a blanket over them. Maura turned her head to thank Jane but was met with Jane’s lips. She immediately melted into the kiss, her hands moving to pull Jane closer.

Jane deepened the kiss, pulling Maura so that she was half on her lap. They continued kissing as their attention shifted from the movie to each other. They quickly forgot about where they were as they got lost in each other. Jane loved the feeling of Maura’s body pressed against her own; she loved Maura’s soft warm lips moving perfectly against her mouth; she loved the felling of Maura’s soft hair as she threaded her fingers into it; she loved the taste of popcorn and soda on Maura’s lips; and she loved the smell of Maura as it invaded her senses. They continued their lazy make-out session until a loud noise from the movie brought them back to reality.

They smiled softly at each other as Jane took in Maura’s kiss swollen lips, rosy cheeks, and mused hair. She gave Maura one more soft kiss on the lips before returning her attention to the movie, pulling Maura back against her side.

As the credits rolled, Maura stretched, and Jane couldn’t help but admire her. She was so tempted to reach out and touch the inch or so of bare skin that showed between her sweater and jeans, but she resisted.

Maura turned to look at Jane. “That was really cute,” she said.

“Yeah, I liked it too,” Jane said as she started to climb from the truck before helping Maura step down. She quickly packed up everything, Maura helping by packing the left-over snacks in the cooler.

They both climbed back into the truck and started driving back towards downtown Boston.

“Today has been wonderful. Thank you, Jane,” Maura said, her eyes sparkling as she watched Jane.

“I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it,” Jane said. “If you’re not too tired, there’s one more thing, but if you’d rather go home, we can save it for another time.”

“No, I want to do it,” Maura said quickly.

“Okay, cool,” Jane said, turning to give her a quick smile before returning her attention to the road.

* * *

Maura was surprised when they pulled into an unremarkable office building along the water. “What are we doing?” Maura asked as Jane parked.

“You’ll see,” Jane replied with a mischievous smile. Jane grabbed a bag from the truck before getting out and helping Maura out.

Jane led her into the office building stopping at the security desk. “Hey, Tom,” she greeted the security guard.

“Hi, Jane!” he replied excitedly. “This way,” he said, beckoning them to follow. He led them to the elevator, stepping in behind them and swiping his keycard over the sensor before pressing the “R” button and stepping out. “No more than an hour, okay?” he asked as the doors closed.

“No problem. Thanks Tom!” Jane called back.

Maura wanted to ask again where they were going, but she knew Jane wouldn’t answer, so she just went along with it. She couldn’t help but think if she was with anyone else, and they led her into a basically empty office building at night, she would be terrified. But this wasn’t someone else; this was Jane, and she trusted Jane with everything she was and everything she had.

When the elevator door opened, Jane smiled at her and took her hand, leading her out into an empty hallway. Jane crossed the hallway to a door that said, “Roof Access” and pushed. The door opened easily, and she led Maura out onto the roof.

“This way,” Jane said, gently guiding Maura to the side of the building that overlooked the water. She pulled a blanket from the bag she was carrying and laid it out on a raised platform. She also pulled out a bottle of wine and two wine glasses, filling the glasses before she turned to Maura to help her sit down. Jane sat down next to her and handed Maura one of the glasses.

“This is beautiful,” Maura whispered. They had a beautiful view of the city lights. They could see the Charles River off to the left and more of the city sprawled to the right. “How did you do this?”

“I wanted to come up with a first date that would hopefully be different than any other date you’ve been on,” Jane explained. “I figured most of your dates probably took you to fancy restaurants, maybe the movie theater or dancing. I mean, we can do that too, but I wanted the first date to be memorable, not just another evening that blended with the rest.”

As Maura listened to Jane, she felt herself falling deeper in love with the woman. She wanted to tell Jane that no matter what they did, their first date would never blend in with the rest of her dates because it was with Jane and that was all that mattered. She sensed that that wouldn’t really be helpful, so she continued to listen.

“So, I tried to think of things that would still be fun but different,” Jane continued. “I also tried to think of things that I might be able to do that others might either not think of or might not be able to do. I knew that these buildings had a great view of the harbor and the city, but this area isn’t really open to the public. I mean, I’m sure if someone paid enough, they could get access, but well, that’s not how I did it.” Jane laughed. “Anyway, Tom went to the Academy with Frankie before he moved into private security. They stayed friends, though, so I asked him if he could get us access, and he said yes. I figured that while you’ve probably been to the apple orchard, may or may not have been to a drive-in movie, and have definitely seen better views of Boston, I hoped that maybe the combination of the three might be special – like little tastes of the Boston fall.”

Maura didn’t know how to respond with words, so she leaned forward, capturing Jane’s lips in a kiss that she hoped conveyed everything she was feeling. “Today was perfect,” she said when they separated.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Jane responded.

They spent a little longer enjoying the view, the fall evening, and each other’s company before packing up and returning to their car. Jane drove Maura home and walked her to the front door.

“Will you come in? Stay?” Maura asked.

“I would, but I promised Frankie I’d return the truck tonight,” Jane said.

Maura nodded in understanding. “Thank him for me for letting us use it,” she said.

“I will.”

“Come over tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll make coffee,” Maura told her as a way to tell Jane to come over in the morning without actually telling her.

“Sounds good,” Jane said. She stepped forward to give Maura a goodnight kiss. Unfortunately, Maura’s hands were full with the cider and donuts, so she couldn’t wrap her arms around Jane, but she still enjoyed the kiss.

Maura let herself into her house, closing the door with one more shared smile with Jane before locking it behind her. She knew Jane wouldn’t leave the front step until she heard Maura lock the door. Maura walked to the kitchen, setting down the donuts and cider on the counter. She knew she was smiling like an idiot in love, which she most definitely was. The goofy smile never left her face as she put everything away, went through her bedtime routine, and climbed in bed.

Jane text her to let her know that she had arrived home safely, telling her how much she had enjoyed their date, and that she couldn’t wait to see her tomorrow. Maura fell asleep happier than she had ever been before.

* * *

Bucket List Count: 5/50


	5. Halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of people have asked about the numbers of the bucket list items and why I’m skipping around. The idea is that Maura wrote the list in a certain order (hence, the numbers), but Jane isn’t (and realistically, couldn’t) doing them in exactly that order. The order isn’t really important to the story other than it shows Maura’s super logical nature (and it will make more sense when you see the full list at the end). If this really bothers people, I can remove the numbers. In other words, the chapters are following chronological order rather than list order.

5) Couples costume for Halloween  
13) Kiss in the rain

* * *

“Hey, Maur,” Jane called as she walked through the front door.

“In here,” Maura called back from the kitchen. “Hey!” she said with a smile when Jane entered the kitchen and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

“Tommy stopped by the precinct today…” Jane started.

“Is everything okay?” Maura quickly interrupted her.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. He was just having lunch with Ma. I swear, she just can’t help herself. It’s like she misses the gossip of the café now that she no longer works there,” Jane replied. “Anyway, he asked if we’d be willing to take TJ trick-or-treating. He got a job that will pay triple time for work on the holiday.”

“Oh, that’s great!” Maura said excitedly. “I’d love to take TJ trick-or-treating with you. I’ve never actually been trick-or-treating. Although, I have always enjoyed handing out candy on the years I don’t work. Wait, does this mean we get to dress up?!”

“Yeah, TJ would probably like that, I guess,” Jane said with a shrug. Then, remembering Maura’s bucket list she added, “Do you want to do…I don’t know…something together?”

Maura’s face lit up in excitement, “You mean a couple’s costume?”

Jane laughed. “If you want.”

“Oh! How about William Bass and a dead body?” Maura suggested animatedly.

“Your turtle?” Jane teased.

“Bass is a tortoise,” Maura corrected, unable to help herself, “but I meant William M Bass, the forensic anthropologist who founded the first body farm.”

“Unless I get to be a zombie, I’m not dressing up as a dead body.”

“Frances Glessner Lee and George Burgess Magrath.”

“Who?”

“George Burgess Magrath was one of the early and most influential medical examiners in Boston, in particular, and New England, more generally. Frances Glessner Lee is considered the ‘mother of forensic science’ and we still use her dioramas that she created as part of the Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death in our teaching curriculum in the Chief Medical Examiner’s office. They were very close friends and led the movement to shift from the use of coroners, who have no required medical training, to medical examiners, who have medical degrees. Although, the terms are often incorrectly used interchangeably, today,” Maura explained. “You can be Frances Glessner Lee, if you’d like. She was also the first female police captain in the United States.”

“Okay, no,” Jane said quickly, only feeling slightly guilty when Maura’s face fell in disappointment. “But you should tell Susie to go as her for Halloween. She could even make a diorama,” Jane added sarcastically.

“Oh, that’s a good idea!” Maura said, completely missing Jane’s sarcasm.

“Try for someone people will actually have heard of,” Jane suggested. “Bonnie and Clyde?”

“Marie and Pierre Curie?”’

“What about two girls?”

“Valentina Tereshkova and Sally Ride?”

“I’ve heard of Sally Ride,” Jane said. “She was the first woman in space, right? Who’s Valentina Teresh-whatever?”

“Tereshkova,” Maura corrected. Sally Ride was the first American woman in space Valentina Tereshkova was the first woman in space. Okay, maybe people won’t recognize her, then. So, Katherine Johnson and either Dorothy Vaughan or Mary Jackson?”

“They’re the women in Hidden Figures, right?” Jane asked.

“Yes, but they are real women,” Maura said. “They are African-American women mathematicians who worked on the Apollo missions.”

“Right, I remember,” Jane stopped Maura’s upcoming monologue. “I won’t say no to them, but let’s keep thinking. Thelma and Louise?”

“Maybe,” Maura said. “Jane Goodall and a chimpanzee? Gigi was the “aunt” figure in the troop.”

“I’m not going as a chimp,” Jane said. “Can you think of anything from pop culture? What about Peppermint Patty and Marcie?”

“Who?”

“From The Peanuts Gang? You know, Charlie Brown?” Jane asked.

“Belle and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast?” Maura suggested. “Oh, wait, you said two women. Okay, Anna and Elsa from Frozen? Or Glinda the Good Witch and the Wicket Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz?”

“Better; I’d prefer not sisters though. I’d like to be able to kiss you and we might confuse some kids.”

Maura smiled. “I agree,” she said.

“Grace and Frankie? Cat Woman and Wonder Woman? Cagney and Lacey?” Jane suggested.

“Are any of them dating?” Maura asked.

“Not officially, but there are plenty of undertones and subtext that suggest it’s possible for all three.”

“Okay, those are possibilities,” Maura said, still thinking. “Also, Alice and the Queen of Hearts from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.”

“Oh, I like the idea of you being Alice,” Jane said. “Although, Alice is a child, so we may be heading back towards weird.”

Maura sighed. “This seems harder than it should be,” Maura said, disappointment leaking into her voice. “What is TJ going to be for Halloween?”

“I don’t know,” Jane said as she pulled out her phone. “I’ll text Tommy.” Luckily, Tommy answered almost immediately. “He’s going as Chase from Paw Patrol.”

“That’s the police officer dog, right?” Maura asked, having watched the show on occasion with TJ. “I’m not sure that helps, though.”

“Oh!” Jane said excitedly. “Alex and Piper from Orange is the New Black? They’re girlfriends, so we could kiss. Alex has dark hair and Piper is blonde, so we don’t have to argue over who’s who. Wait, or is it who’s whom?”

“Who’s who,” Maura said. “A simple trick is to replace the who or whom you are trying to figure it out with he/she or him/her. You would obviously know that ‘who is he?’ is correct, not “who is him?”

“Okay, that’s actually helpful, googlemouth,” Jane teased.

Maura laughed. “But let’s go with Alex and Piper from Orange is the New Black,” she said. “It goes with TJ’s law enforcement theme anyway.”

“And people will actually know who we are,” Jane added with a smirk. Maura rolled her eyes but didn’t argue.

* * *

“AUNT JANIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!” TJ squealed as he burst through Maura’s backdoor and threw himself into her waiting arms. Maura watched from the other side of the kitchen. Jane’s love for her nephew is one of the things Maura loves most about her. Maura swore that she could literally see Jane’s stress and anxiety melt away when the three-year-old smiled at her. She was so lost in thought about Jane and TJ that she almost missed when he switched his excited attention to her. “AUNTIE MAURA!!!!” he greeted her just as enthusiastically as he greeted Jane.

Maura kneeled to receive TJ’s energetic hug. “Hi, sweetie,” she said through her smile. “Happy Halloween!”

“Trick-or-treat!” TJ said quickly, causing all the adults in the room to laugh. Angela had followed her grandson into the house, closing the door behind them.

“Buddy, that’s what you say when someone comes to the door so that they give you candy,” Jane explained patiently.

TJ looked back and forth between Maura and Jane; his little face scrunched in thought. “But I want candy,” he added, still confused.

Jane laughed. “Right, but I meant at other people’s houses,” she explained. “Aunt Maura and I are going to take you trick-or-treating, so I was just saying you didn’t need to say ‘trick-or-treat’ to Aunt Maura. You could just say ‘Happy Halloween.’ You know what, never mind.” Jane decided to stop confusing TJ further. “Do you remember what you say when someone gives you candy?”

“Thank you!” TJ said, his excitement quickly returning.

“Good job, buddy!” Jane said, ruffling his hair as she stood up. TJ quickly squirmed away from her, returning his attention to Maura.

“Can we go?” TJ asked Maura, his eyes alight with joy.

“Yes, we can go,” Maura told him. “Do you have your coat and gloves?” It wasn’t the coldest Halloween that they had had in Boston, but it was definitely too chilly to be outside for hours without warm clothes.

"I donwanna,” TJ whined. Maura had to stop herself from chuckling at how much he sounded like Jane in that moment. “No one will know I’m Chase,” he pouted.

“Hmm,” Maura said. “I have an idea. Go grab your coat and bring it here. I’ll help you.”

“K!” TJ said, running back to Angela who was still holding his coat and gloves. He returned, holding them out to Maura. Maura took them and placed them on the ground next to her. She quickly unzipped his costume, removing the top half, and helped him take off the top half before putting his coat on. She put the top of his costume back on over the coat and zipped him back up.

“There,” Maura said. “Now, you will be warm, and everyone can still see your costume. Oh, I have something else. Wait here.”

Maura ran upstairs where she found black eyeliner and brown gloves. They would be a little big on TJ’s hands, but at least they would match his costume. She could appreciate his desire to have everything for his costume match. When she returned downstairs, she drew on his nose and the spots around his nose where his whiskers would be. She then put on the gloves, tucking them under his sleeves so that they would stay on.

“How’s that?” she said, smiling at TJ.

“T’ank youuuuu!” TJ said happily, wrapping his arms around Maura. Maura glanced up to see Jane smiling down at her; she returned her smile shyly before TJ pulled them both out of the house. “Bye, nonna!” he called over his shoulder.

“Bye, baby,” Angela called back. “Have fun!”

“Thank you for staying to hand out candy,” Maura said to Angela as they waved goodbye.

Maura and Jane shared a smile before they followed TJ down the street.

* * *

Jane reached out for Maura’s hand, interlinking their fingers as they watched TJ run ahead. Lost in the feeling of Maura’s hand in hers and the fun and joy surrounding them, Jane couldn’t help but wonder if they would one day be watching their own kids excitedly trick-or-treat – possibly on this very street.

TJ easily found Maura’s front door, running up to ring the doorbell. He was bouncing on his toes as he anticipated surprising his nonna for his last trick-or-treat of the night.

Jane turned to look at Maura as she giggled at Angela’s display of faux surprise when she opened the door to TJ. Their eyes met, and they easily got lost in each other’s gaze, Maura’s eyes still twinkling with laughter.

Jane dropped Maura’s hand and brought both hands up to her face, gently pulling her in for a kiss. Maura’s hands instantly wrapped around Jane’s waist, closing the remaining space between their bodies. As she melted into the kiss, Jane let her left hand move down to wrap around Maura’s shoulder while her right hand threaded into Maura’s hair. Jane was vaguely aware that her mom and TJ had gone inside, closing the door behind them, leaving Maura and Jane alone on the front walk.

Jane pulled away when she felt the first drops of rain start to fall. She quickly glanced up, intending to get both of them inside before they got soaked, knowing Maura usually hated what the rain did to her hair. Maura wasn’t having it though; she quickly tugged Jane’s face back down, connecting their lips once again.

Jane hummed into the kiss as the rain started to fall harder. Maura reached up pushing Jane’s now-soaking-wet hair out of her face at the same time she slid her tongue into Jane’s mouth. They were completely lost in each other. Only when Maura shivered as the cold rain seeped through her clothes to her heated skin did they break apart. Jane brushed Maura’s hair off her face as her eyes traced the drops of water falling down Maura’s beautiful face. Despite the cold, Maura’s smile warmed Jane’s heart.

Unable to stop herself, Maura leaned forward for another passionate kiss. She loved the feeling of Jane’s soft, wet lips against her own; her own body heat increased at the feeling of Jane’s hot skin under her cold fingers; her knees went weak as Jane’s strong hands held her close; and her heartbeat sped up at the sound of Jane’s moans. When they finally broke apart, they shared a soft smile; Maura’s eyes darted between Jane’s soaking wet curls, her dilated pupils, and her kiss swollen lips.

Their spell was broken by Angela’s voice, “Girls! Are you coming inside? You’re soaking wet! You’re going to get sick!”

Maura and Jane both laughed as they turned to make their way back inside the warmth of Maura’s home.

* * *

Bucket List Count: 7/50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have two different outlines for this story. One is pure fluff; the other has some angst/drama/crime. I can’t decide which way to go, so I was wondering if people had opinions. Are you looking for a fluffy, light-hearted story or a more dramatic story?
> 
> P.S. I had a really hard time deciding on a couple’s costume for Maura and Jane! Actually, this chapter was incredibly difficult in general – for absolutely no reason, lol.


	6. An Evening Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I’ve decided to go with ALL THE FLUFF and a small amount of angst/drama (I have a little more time before I have to decide on the full-blown drama/crime storyline).
> 
> This chapter draws heavily on the season 4 (S4E15) “Food for Thought.” In this story, unless otherwise noted (like I am right now), everything up until “Bridge to Tomorrow” is assumed to have taken place.

20) Sext each other

* * *

Jane hadn’t spent very many nights away from Maura since they had started dating, but this week Maura was attending a conference out of town. Therefore, Jane was home alone and grumpy because she missed her girlfriend.

She fiddled with her nearly empty beer bottle as she stared at the TV playing SportsCenter. She wasn’t really watching though, her thoughts still on Maura. There was a knock on her door and for a moment, Jane hoped it was Maura. She quickly remembered that she had seen Maura on video-chat in her hotel only a few hours ago, so there was no way she was home early. Also, Maura wouldn’t knock and wait for Jane to let her in; she’d just let herself in.

When Jane opened the door, she was surprised by the woman waiting on the other side. “Hope,” she said surprised.

“Detective Rizzoli, can I talk to you for a minute?” Hope asked.

“Hey, um, what are you doing here?” Jane asked skeptically.

“It’s about Maura,” Hope said, and Jane froze as fear instantly flooded her body.

“What!?” Jane asked quickly. She could hear the pounding of her heart as she tried to calm her fears.

“She returned a gift,” Hope said, holding something out in her hand. “It’s my necklace, and it was meant for her.” As Jane looked down at the necklace in Hope’s hand, her fear started to dissipate, quickly replaced by anger.

“You didn’t give that to her. Your real daughter, Cailin, did,” Jane snapped, crossing her arms in front of her chest, partly to let Hope know she was angry and partly to keep herself from slapping Hope across the face.

“That’s not fair.”

“You’re the last person to talk to me about fair,” Jane spat. “Hope, you only show up when you want something, so spit it out. What do you want this time?”

“Her forgiveness,” Hope said weakly. _Okay, that hadn’t been what I expected,_ Jane thought to herself. Still, she couldn’t help but notice that Hope was still making it about _her._ Shouldn’t Hope be saying that she wants to make amends, that she wants to fix her relationship with Maura, that she wants to make everything up to Maura? No, she was still asking for something _from_ Maura.

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Jane tried desperately to keep her anger in check, but Hope wasn’t making it easy. “You made it very clear that it was pretty inconvenient for you to find out that Maura was still alive.”

“That’s not true,” Hope tried.

“It’s not?” Jane snapped, her voice rising rapidly. “You told her she wasn’t yours and then accused her of scamming you.”

“Well, I was…it was shocking,” Hope tried to defend herself.

“So was showing up again and asking her for a kidney. Be happy she has the decency to talk to you at all.”

“There are so many things I know I’ve done wrong,” Hope admitted.

“Yes, like standing by your man and treating his wounds after he murdered Lieutenant Cavanaugh’s wife and baby.”

“I told the grand jury everything,” Hope said. “I will be a key witness in the trial, and I will be the reason that Paddy is put to death if he’s found guilty.”

“Hope, for all we know, you made a deal,” Jane said, her anger deflating a little bit. She supposed the least she could do is recognize that – no matter how bad a person Jane thought he was – Hope did love Paddy and it couldn’t have been easy to testify against him. She knew she would never be able to testify against Maura if it meant the death penalty or even life in jail. She still regretted being part of the team that arrested her when she was framed for murder a while back. On the other hand, Maura would _never_ do the things Paddy did, so now Jane was back to being angry with Hope for falling in love with him in the first place.

“I did not make a deal,” Hope stated quickly.

“Then, why hasn’t the IRS closed down your MEND clinics and frozen all your assets?” Jane asked skeptically.

“I turned over all the books,” Hope said. Hope honestly didn’t know why they hadn’t closed down her clinics, but she assumed – or maybe hoped – that it was because even the IRS knew the good her clinics did for the community. “The IRS knows where to find me.”

“Yeah, well, so does Maura,” Jane stated flatly.

“I need her forgiveness,” Hope pleaded.

Jane’s anger started to rise again. Everything Hope said was about how _she_ needed Maura’s forgiveness, how difficult _her_ life had been, how surprised _she_ had been to discover Maura was alive. “Here’s the pain you can’t undo,” she hissed. “Paddy is a gangster, and you’re a liar. It’s not really the happy ending she was hoping for. Excuse me. I have things to do,” Jane said, and she closed the door in Hope’s face without waiting for a response.

Jane was fuming as she threw herself back onto the couch. The thing she hated more than anything else was to see Maura hurting, and all Hope had done since she had come into Maura’s life was hurt her. On the other hand, Jane also knew that not having a relationship with her mother – either of her mothers – hurt Maura as well. She would have to tell Maura that Hope had stopped by, but it definitely wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have over the phone. No, she wanted to be able to hold Maura close – to wrap Maura in her arms and keep her safe from all the hurt the world had to offer.

If Jane had been missing Maura before Hope stopped over, now she was _really_ missing her. Jane pulled out her phone and opened her text thread with Maura. A soft smile tugged at her lips as she saw the last few texts they had sent each other: variations of “I love you” and “I miss you.”

Jane hadn’t been planning to try to check off any of Maura’s bucket list items while Maura was out of town, but an idea popped into her head while she tried to decide what to text Maura. They hadn’t progressed any further than some very heated make-out sessions and hands roaming over what Jane considered “safe” places – i.e., skin still visible when wearing a bikini. Tonight seemed like a good opportunity to check off a bucket list item and move their romantic relationship forward.

Jane: **_Hey, Maur. How’s your evening going?_**

Maura: **_I’ve had a nice evening. The conference has been wonderful, and tonight’s dinner was very enjoyable. I just returned to my room. I was going to call you after I showered._**

Jane: **_I’m free all evening. I had another idea of something we could do first though._**

Maura: **_Oh? And what might that be?_** **😉**

Jane: **_Right now, I want to know what you’re wearing…_**

Maura: **_I just hung up my black Chanel knee-length sheath dress and red blazer. Why?_**

Jane rolled her eyes. Maura was so literal.

Jane: **_So…just your bra, panties, and heels?_**

Maura: **_I took my shoes off first. I’m confused. Why are you asking what I’m wearing?_**

Jane: **_OMG! I’m trying to flirt with you._**

Jane: **_And apparently failing miserably…_**

Maura: **_Oh, sorry. I’m reading the same book now. Keep going._** **😘**

Jane: **_Ok, first, it’s “on the same page”_**

Jane: **_And second…I’d still like to know what you’re wearing?!_**

Maura: **_Well, I’m sorry to have to tell you that I can’t answer that question…_**

Maura: **_Because I’m not wearing anything._** 😉

“Shit” Jane said under her breath. She wasn’t expecting to be so turned on by a simple text message. She shifted her position on the couch before responding.

Jane: **_Mmmm…I expect that’s a good look on you._**

Maura: **_You’ll just have to see for yourself when I get home._**

Jane: 😍

Jane: **_I’d like that._**

Jane: **_Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your evening plans, though. Call me after your shower?_**

Maura: **_This is better than a shower. I’m running a hot bath._**

Maura: **_It would be better if you were here to bathe with me._**

Jane: **_Well, when you slip into the bath, close your eyes, and imagine I’m there with you. Imagine your hands are my hands._**

Maura: **_What are your hands doing to me?_**

Jane groaned at Maura’s text. She decided she needed to move to her bedroom if they were going to continue this conversation. Jane had never sexted anyone before, and she hadn’t expected to enjoy it quite so much. They continued texting back and forth for a while longer. Afterwards, they called each other, talking over video chat while lying in separate beds, trying to pretend that they were together.

* * *

Jane didn’t see Maura in person until Friday morning at work. Maura had flown in early that morning and then had come to work around mid-morning. Jane’s heart instantly sped up when she heard the click-clack of Maura’s heals cross the bullpen. She didn’t even need to look up to know it was Maura. Maura smiled at Jane as she walked over with two coffees in her hands. She handed one to Jane as she sat on the side of Jane’s desk.

They weren’t hiding their relationship at work, and they suspected that most people, if not everyone, knew by now that they were together. They had agreed, however, that they wouldn’t engage in public displays of affection at the office. Right now, though, they were both regretting this decision. Jane was wondering how angry Maura would be with her if she leaned up just for a quick chaste kiss when Maura broke her train of thought with a better idea.

“Do you have a few minutes you can come down to my office?” Maura asked.

“Yes!” Jane said quickly, standing up. To no one in particular, she said, “I’ll be downstairs, call or text if you need me.” Korsak was the only one to acknowledge her.

As soon as the elevator doors closed behind them, Maura stepped into Jane’s space, connecting their lips. When they broke apart, Maura whispered, “I couldn’t wait any longer to do that.”

“I know, me neither,” Jane said. “We really didn’t think through our absolutely no PDA plan for times when it’s been multiple days since we’ve seen each other.”

“For now, let’s stick with the no PDA rule, but let’s also promise to revisit the conversation over the next few weeks. I don’t think a soft chaste kiss hello or goodbye would be out of line, but I want to observe other people’s behavior around the office before making a final decision.”

Jane laughed at how _scientific_ Maura had to get about something that seemed so simple – actually she loved this about Maura. “Okay, sounds good.”

They exited the elevator and Jane followed Maura into her office. “I can’t stay down here for very long, but come here for a second,” Jane said, holding out her hands. Without hesitation, Maura let herself fall into the hug Jane was offering. “I really missed you,” Jane said.

“I missed you too,” Maura replied. They stood for a few minutes before they both acknowledged that they had work to get done. “You’re coming over for a movie night tonight, right?”

“Yes, tonight it’s your turn to pick dinner and my turn to pick the movie,” Jane said. They tried their best to rotate so that they each got equal turns to pick dinner or the movie, and so that the same person didn’t get to pick both in the same week (except, of course, for birthday weeks).

“I was thinking Chinese take-out,” Maura said.

“Oh, that’s perfect,” Jane said. “It goes with my movie choice. We’re watching Freaky Friday.”

“What does Chinese food have to do with the movie?”

“You’ll see. I mean, it’s not anything major. Some of the key scenes take place at a Chinese restaurant. Anyway, sorry, I have to get back upstairs. I’ll see you later!” Jane said. She quickly left a soft kiss on Maura’s cheek before running back to the elevator.

Later that night, as the credits played, Jane could feel Maura shifting uncomfortably next to her.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t like how I’m feeling,” Maura admitted as she avoided eye contact with Jane. “It lacks integrity.”

That wasn’t really what Jane was expecting. “Okay, I’m lost,” she said. “When you started that, I thought you were going to say the Chinese made you feel nauseated, but I don’t think that lacks integrity.”

Maura sighed. “The movie was very sweet. I loved how the mother and daughter came to understand each other’s point of view. I just…I feel a little jealous, which is silly because it’s a movie, but I also see you and your brothers with your mother every day. I know she annoys you, but in the end, you’re close. I always wanted that kind of a relationship with my mother.”

Jane sighed, her heart breaking for her girlfriend. “Oh, I mean, Constance isn’t warm and fuzzy, but she loves you, Maura,” Jane said softly.

“I always knew I was adopted. When I was young and I felt lonely, I would tell myself, ‘someday my real mother will appear.’”

“Hope came to see me yesterday,” Jane said suddenly.

“What?! Why didn’t you tell me?” Maura said, her voice sounding more accusing than she had intended.

“I forgot,” Jane said, honestly. “I didn’t want to tell you over the phone last night, and I just…I missed you while you were gone, so I wasn’t really thinking about Hope when I finally got to see you.”

“Okay,” Maura said slowly as she tried to take in this information. “Alright, why? Why did she come and see you?”

“I think she wants to make amends,” Jane said softly.

“Well, she doesn’t need to. I’m over it,” Maura said stubbornly.

“You’re not over it, and you shouldn’t be.”

“Yes, I should. And she should be too.”

“Maura, Hope knows how I feel about her, and she swallowed her pride, and she came to see me anyway.”

“So, what more does she want?” Maura said defiantly. “I talk to her when she calls.”

“Yeah, you talk to her the same way that you talk to that neighbor that over-waters your roses,” Jane teased.

“Which are on my property…and I was very polite to him when I told him to fix his sprinklers,” Maura said before pausing. “Alright, so, you know, why…why would you be Hope’s advocate?”

“I’m your advocate,” Jane said, pulling Maura closer.

“Now I’m lost,” Maura said, her face scrunching in confusion. Jane thought she looked adorable with her face half pouting and half confused.

“Well, admit it. It bums you out, doesn’t it?” Jane said as gently as she could. “Maura, nobody’s gonna judge you if you change your mind about her.”

Maura signed and buried herself deeper into Jane’s side. Jane took the hint and dropped the topic, picking up the remote to find another movie.

* * *

The next week had gone by quickly with three new cases assigned to their team. Luckily, two of the cases were relatively straight forward and solved quickly. The third case had the team working long hours every day trying to find a lead and chasing down what turned out to be bad leads. Maura and Jane hadn’t had time to see each other outside of work since Sunday dinner. As everyone expected, this meant that Jane was even grouchier than normal. It also became clear to many people around them that Maura had a lot less patience by the end of the week – although, she was still uncompromisingly polite.

Maura made a connection that broke open the case early Friday morning. The team was able to make an arrest by noon and by 2pm, Jane knew that they would have all the paperwork for the case by the end of the day. Usually, after a hard case, they would all go to the Dirty Robber to celebrate, but all Jane wanted to do was spend time with Maura. She decided to take a short break downstairs to see what Maura wanted to do.

“Hey, Maur,” Jane said as she entered Maura’s office through the open door.

When Maura lifted her head, a genuine smile covered her features. Just seeing Jane was enough to improve her spirits after a week like the one they had just had. “Hi, Jane,” she said.

“It looks like I’ll be done between 4:30pm and 5pm,” Jane explained. “What does the rest of your day look like?”

“I will be done by 4pm, but I have non-urgent paperwork I can use to fill my time until you are finished,” Maura said.

“Oh, you don’t have to stay longer just to wait for me,” Jane said, surprised that Maura would be done so much before her yet still want to wait for her.

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to,” Maura said. Then, she paused. “I thought we were spending the evening together?” she asked, uncertainty and insecurity evident in her voice.

“Oh, yeah, we are. I was just thinking I would meet you wherever you are when I get done, but never mind. It would be great to leave together. What I actually came down to ask is what do you wanted to do tonight?”

“Are there options? I thought we always go to the Dirty Robber as a team,” Maura asked, confused.

“Yeah, yeah, of course we could do that,” Jane said quickly. “Well, I was just also thinking that maybe we could do something just the two of us. I just feel like we’ve barely been able to spend any time together over the past two weeks. I thought I could make you dinner; then, we can watch a movie or two? Just a laid-back relaxing evening?”

Maura smiled. “I think that sounds perfect. Meet me down here when you’re ready to leave?”

“I will, and I’ll let Frankie, Nina, and Korsak about skipping the Dirty Robber. I kinda got the feeling they all might bail on it this time too. Everyone’s just too tired.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon,” Maura said, standing from her place behind her desk. Getting the message, Jane came up to the front of the desk and they both leaned over, meeting in the middle for a soft chaste kiss. “Now hurry! The sooner you start your paperwork, the sooner you finish, and the sooner we get home.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Jane teased.

Jane did indeed cook them a nice dinner. Maura had plenty of fresh vegetables, so Jane made pasta primavera using her nonna’s old recipe. She also grilled chicken on the side that could be either mixed into the pasta or eaten separately.

Maura showered while Jane made dinner. By the time she returned downstairs, Jane was plating the food and setting it at the table.

“Perfect timing!” Jane said as she handed Maura a glass of wine.

They chatted about their weeks as they ate dinner at a leisurely pace. They had finished eating but were still sitting at the table enjoying each other’s company when Angela knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for either of them to answer it.

“Hi, girls!” Angela greeted them as she entered the house from the courtyard.

“Hey, Ma.” Jane said as she stood from the kitchen table, picking up her and Maura’s empty plates and carrying them to the sink.

“Hello, Angela,” Maura said, standing from the table to join Jane and Angela in the kitchen. Walking up to the sink where Jane was getting ready to do the dishes, Maura added, “I’ll do the dishes, Jane. You cooked dinner.”

“Thanks,” Jane said. Turning to her mother, she asked, “Can I get you anything?”

“No,” Angela replied. “I just wanted to stop by to say hello. I didn’t see much of you girls this week.”

“Yeah, we had a busy week,” Jane explained as she put the leftovers into the fridge and handed Maura the empty dishes.

“I know,” Angela said. “I just missed my two girls.”

KNOCK ON DOOR

“Can you get that?” Maura asked Jane.

“Yeah, sure,” Jane said, walking to the front door.

Jane opened the door to find Hope standing there.

“May I come in?” Hope asked.

“Of course, you can,” Maura said, joining Jane at the front door. “Is everything okay?”

“No, it isn’t,” Hope said.

Jane stepped back towards her own mother to allow Maura and Hope to talk to each other.

“Hey, Ma, why don't we go pick out the font for the invitations?” Jane said, trying to give Maura some privacy.

“Why? I just got here,” Angela responded, oblivious.

“Let’s go, we'll fluff pillows. Come on.”

“Please don't go,” Hope said to Jane and Angela. “I made a decision today. I am closing my clinics.”

“Why would you close M.E.N.D.?” Maura asked.

“Because I want you to know how sorry I am,” Hope said. “And I want to make restitution somehow.”

“Wait, wait, closing clinics that are saving desperate mothers and ... and children? I-I don't ... I don't want that. That's not going to make up for anything,” Maura said quickly.

“I need your forgiveness and for you to accept me, flaws and all,” Hope said desperately.

“I can't,” Maura tried. And Jane could see Maura trying to hold in the tears in the way her eyes looked up and in the slight uncharacteristic stutter in her words. Jane wanted to step in and wrap Maura in her arms; she wanted to tell Hope to leave; she wanted to protect Maura from this hurt; but she knew that doing so would only make it worse for Maura in the long run.

“Please,” Hope pleaded. “You are my daughter.”

“I'm not your daughter,” Maura said defiantly, still looking primarily at the ceiling.

“Maura. Whether you like it or not, you're both related,” Angela said.

Angela’s words caused Maura’s gaze to drop down to the woman who had been more like a mother to her than either of her “real” mothers, but her gaze shifted to Hope when she began to speak.

“I've changed. I wouldn't make the same decisions today. So please give me... a chance,” Hope pleaded.

Jane’s heart was breaking for Maura in this moment. Maybe she couldn’t protect her from the hurt, but she could make sure that Maura knew that she had Jane’s unconditional support – no matter what.

Pulling Maura aside, Jane whispered into her ear, “You know, you never answered my question. Does this bum you out?”

“Yes,” Maura answered so only Jane could hear.

“Okay,” Jane said firmly. “I mean it, Maura. No judgment.”

“Please, can we just start over?” Hope asked.

“People change. Life changes us.” Angela added.

“There is... research proving the elasticity of the brain,” Maura mumbled. Her voice a little stronger, she added, “You want to start over?”

“Very much,” Hope said.

“Go outside,” Maura commanded.

“Outside your house?” Hope asked, confusion, hurt, and disappointment flashing across her face.

“Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I like this plan,” Jane said, catching on.

“Okay, what's going on?” Angela asked.

“Would you...” Jane snapped at her mother, trying in vain to keep her out of the middle of Maura and Hope’s relationship.

Hope went outside the front door, unsure what to do now. It didn’t seem like Maura wanted her to leave, so what did…?

“You can knock now,” Maura called through the closed door, interrupting Hope’s thoughts. She opened it when Hope knocked. “Hello. I'm Maura Isles. I'm your... biological daughter.”

“Hello. I'm Hope Martin. I'm your mother. And I have always wanted to know you.”

“Oh, this is so touching,” Angela cooed, watching the scene.

“Ma...” Jane complained.

“Would you like some tea?” Maura asked, gesturing for Hope to follow her into the house.

“Yes,” Hope answered.

“From the Ya'an, Sichuan province?” Maura explained as she held up a bag of loose-leaf tea.

“Yes! No one I know likes that tea!” Hope said with a laugh, everyone else joining in.

“'Cause it's panda-poop tea,” Jane added.

“Yes,” Hope said, still laughing. “It is.”

“Okay, um, I'm gonna go get some frozen yogurt,” Jane said suddenly. She wanted to give Maura some time with Hope without her (Jane) around, but more so, she wanted to give them an activity that would keep Hope here for longer than just a few minutes. “What do you want?” she asked the room at large.

Angela was the first to answer, “Chocolate with a vanilla swirl.”

“Oh, uh, I'll have what Angela's having,” Hope said.

“And I'll have the same” Maura added. “But can they not swirl?”

“Mm-hmm. Can they at least touch?” Jane teased.

“I guess,” Maura replied with a smile and a wink.

“That's real progress, Maura,” Jane said to her, and they both knew she wasn’t referring to the frozen yogurt. Jane gave Maura’s arm one last squeeze before exiting the front door in search of frozen yogurt.

* * *

Bucket List Count: 8/50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that this story is rated M rather than E so I’m not including full sex scenes. Sex will be implied though. I could probably be persuaded to change my mind (and the rating) if that is something people really want, but I figured it was good to have a variety of ratings across my stories.
> 
> Also, before anyone bites my head off, I know making Pasta Primavera in November isn’t the best idea (definitely best to make it in the spring and early summer), but I figured it was the perfect Jane recipe (looks fancy, easy to make). Plus, I’m sure Maura always buys the best produce available anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> I want the bucket list items to be somewhat of a surprise as we go, but I will post the full list at the end of the fic for anyone who wants to see it all together.


End file.
